I am an Addict in DESPERATE need of a Support Group

Damn what a weekend!

I know I am not alone when I say this, but Weekends are so precious to me. I don't mind working but it's always nice to have those days where I can stay up as late as I want and sleep in the next day. And that is exactly what happens around here.

Michael and I will usually stay up until the wee hours of the morning watching movies or listening to his 2 million songs he has on his computer. Okay it's not quite 2 million but he is working on it slowly but surely.

This weekend was really nice. We had the entire house to ourselves this weekend. My son went and stayed over at my sister's house to hang out with my nephew.

So what did Michael and I do? Well I would tell you but then I would have to kill you for fear you would tell everyone..... Kidding.... Or am I???

Doesn't that make it sound like we did all sorts of top secret things?? **snicker** Maybe we were?

Seriously, we did what made us happy which is simply spend time with each other. We do that anyway all of the time but it always a little more special when there are no other voices around.

So we ended up pretty much having an unlimited movie watching weekend. Here is the run down...

The Departed.... Great movie with Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Wahlburg.

Superman Returns.... I wasn't sure how this one would be considering there was no Christopher Reeves but I actually liked it. Okay someone at work told this joke the other day and even though it's in the extreme realm of bad taste, I am going to post it anyway.

What is the opposite of Christopher Reeves? ***Starting in with the Jeopardy Music*** and the answer is.... What is Christopher Walken?? Okay.... Okay bad joke but funny as hell :) Christopher Walken! You get it right???

Deja Vu.... This movie was a trip! It went in places I really didn't think it would!

The Fast and the Furious, Tokyo Drift.... I love watching movies with great driving. Maybe it's because I know deep inside that I could drive just like that. Hell what am I talking about? I can see myself behind the wheel of a Nascar that's how much I love to drive!

And how can I forget the shining star of all of the movies we watched???

The Death of a Cheerleader.... This incredible little tale was the workings of the Lifetime Movie Network and stars Kelly Martin and Tori Spelling. If I tell you about the movie it will give it away so I will put it this way, Tori Spelling plays a character named Stacy Lockwood who is the type of person who is very popular in school because her family has money and because she is a mean bitch. She spends her time making fun of others to make herself look good. Kelly Martin plays Angela Delvecchio. Poor Angela has it bad. She is not popular and not the most beautiful girl in the world and her ambition is to simply be popular and well liked so she chooses Stacy to model her life after and tries to become her friend until things go horribly wrong! Now I cannot divulge anything else here because it would give it away. Just know this movie is based on a true story and will leave you going "Wow! So this is what happens when you are a mega bitch to those less fortunate than yourself!" I decided to do a little research on the story and found out the real names of people were Kristen Costas "Stacey Lockwood" and Bernadette Prutti, "Angela Delvecchio". Damn peer pressure is a fucking bitch! If you care to read the actual story, click here.

See with me going on this little verbal rampage, I now must tell you that I am an addict. That's right. I am addicted to the Lifetime Movie Network. They always sucker me in with their movies based on real facts. Hell just the other day, I was watching "Small Sacrifices" which is the story of psycho crazy lady Diane Downs who kills her children to get a man. Fucking Loon! And who stars as Diane Downs you may ask? Farrah Fawcett! It's such a good movie that I actually recorded it so I could watch it again. I am soooooooo pathetic!

And what is on my television screen right now? Try the Lifetime Movie Network! And what movie is on you may be wondering? "When Andrew Came Home". This is a movie about a child who comes home after being kidnapped by his abusive father for 5 years.

See how bad this is? I seriously need some help! I cannot even begin to tell you how much of my life has been spent staring at the flickering light box, aka the television, completely immersed in the world of Lifetime Movies. If I sat here and really thought about it, I could probably come up with a list of a couple hundred movies I know I have watched but that wouldn't compare to a list I could make if I could remember them all.

Oh GOD! Why hast thou forsaken me? Why hast thou brought forth LMN into my life?

So I guess I have to do a 12 step program or something. I need to get up to the podium in front of everyone and say it just like this.

"Hello everyone... My name is Chalice and I am a Lifetime movie addict. It all began some 5 years ago while working at my best friend NaughtyVoyeur's house. NV allowed me to watch her satellite television while I worked and it was because of this, that slowly but surely, I became addicted to the Lifetime Movie Network. It started off relatively slow. Just a movie here and there but then it became an every day thing. I had to get my Movie fix. I had to see who was going to die or what severe ailment one had just so I could make it through my day. It's to the point where I turn that station on when I get up daily just to see what is going to be on and whether or not I should record something while I am at work. There have even been weekends where I went on binges of doing nothing but watching movie after movie after movie. So I say this, 'Lifetime Movie Network, you may think you have won but you have not! I refuse to allow my life to be overrun by you and your made-for-tv movies anymore! No more will I watch movies about Death, Rape, Who is the Daddy, I have Scleroderma, My daughter is a prostitute, I want to dance so bad I gave myself Bulemia, I am not pretty and popular so its everyone else's fault, My husband killed my daughter because he has Multiple Personality Disorder, Someone stole my baby and we got blamed when it was all an elaborate baby buying scheme and I killed for a man! That's right Lifetime! You will not have me as your Movie-Watching Slave anymore!' Well wait, there is a good one on now so I will check back with all of you later and fill you in on my progress of beating this nasty addiction!"

And that is when I run for the door, jump into my car and head home to veg out on my couch and curl up with a good movie! Does anyone have any popcorn? I think I am running out!

So can anyone help save me from the Beast that is "The Lifetime Movie Network"??? That's right I called it the beast! I think we have found the identity of the Anti-Christ!

The Blah's

I am sooooo tired today! You would think after actually going to bed fairly early (1:30 am...yes that is actually early considering I work nights) that I might actually be a little more alert today. But Alas.. I am not!

My head is all stuffed up today and I hate that. I blame Michael. I know he brought home diseases from UPS!

Poor guy was so sick yesterday. I felt so bad. I babied him as much as I possibly could but he still feels like death warmed over. He can't breathe because his head is all clogged up. His throat is itchy and scratchy. He has the chills and his whole body hurts.

So today I wake up with a stuffy head and now I am coughing a little bit and my throat is sore!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's hard to talk on the phone all day long begging people for their money when you don't really feel like talking at all.... ***sigh*** What can ya do right?

Alright, Hero's came back on last night and I have to admit, I really like that show. I never watched it at all until Michael got me into it. I think I could use a good dose of some powers right now. I think invisibility would serve me well along with the ability to self heal. Ahhh to hell with it, I may as well say I want them all.

Tonight is American Idol night! Now everyone say it with me... Hip Hip Hurray!!! SANJAYA IS GONE!!! Took long enough! I guess last night he had a guest spot on Letterman doing the top ten list. I missed it which sucks because Michael and I are die hard Letterman fans and we watch the show religiously....but here it is...



Am I the only one who thinks this kid smiles just like Eddie and Charlie Murphy? Hmmmm??? Well he has had way more than his 20 minutes of fame and now its time to move on.... So Adios Sanjaya...

Funny Cartoon I love.. Reminds me a little bit of Sanjaya...



Have a most Terrific Day Everyone!

Nuthin' But Stuff

This weekend was another one of those weekends where we ended up having a ton of fun just hanging out together.

I love weekends like this...

Friday night after picking Michael up from work we all watched "The Gridiron Gang". Talk about a tear jerker of a movie. I love these feel-good movies like this but when you can't quit crying while watching can drive you crazy. My son ended up falling asleep in the floor with his blanket and pillow about 1/2 way through it. Even at the age of 13 he is still very sweet looking when he passes out like that.

Saturday night Michael and I went to see Grindhouse. What a trip of a movie that is! I loved it! The way they put it together like something out of the 70's just made it that much better. It was funny to see what looked like little hairs on the screen along with all of the fuzziness and grain. So if you really like old cult classics, I suggest you go and see this movie because it is definitely worth the 3 1/2 hours in the theater.

Yesterday after eating a huge late breakfast we all got dressed and went to Water Works park to see their Disc Golf Course. Michael first introduced me to disc golf awhile back. For those of you who don't know what it is, it's playing golf with a Frisbee type disc except the disc's come in all sorts of different weights. The object of the game is just like golf in the sense you have to get the lowest score possible after the 18 holes. But they aren't really holes. They are baskets with metal chains wrapped around them to grab the disc when it hits so it falls directly into the basket. Definitely a cool game. You can check out some info on it here. So here in the next couple of weeks we have decided to buy some discs so all of us can go out and play. It should be fun as well as a hell of a work out considering the courses are very hilly and have lots of trees.

But today, its back to the grind. Back to the lovely world of collections! I don't mind Mondays so much though because I get to only work 4 hours instead of a full shift. Very nice way to start the week :)

Have a terrific day everyone!

Sordid Tales of a Bill Collector

As strange as it is to say, I am a Bill Collector.... and I am good at it!

I began my crazy career as a collector some 18 years ago (good Lord if that doesn't give away my age!). I started down this interesting path by mistake. I was working at a temp agency and got sent to a rather large company (who shall remain nameless but it rhymes with Shittybank) thus falling head first into the entertaining and cruel world of the debt collector.

It may seem strange to those of you who read my blog and see me in a completely different light, but there is a side of me that is fairly aggressive and it's that part that allows me to come to life, so-to-speak, on the other end of the phone with someone who cannot pay their bills.

Now I am not one of those who insists on badgering and intimidating the caller on the other end of the line. I just don't see the point in it all if you really want to know. Especially considering the majority of the people I talk to really want to pay their bills but they just don't have the money. Hey, life happens and so many times it means we suffer financial woes so why treat someone like shit when they just don't have the money.

Yes, for the most part I am a very nice and fairly compassionate bill collector.

I know.... I know.... It sounds strange but never-the-less, it's very true.

But even I have my moments. Yep, those times when the person on the other end of the line, well to put it bluntly, is a complete fucking asshole. I wish I had a nicer word for it but why sugar coat the facts???

I have been called every single name in the book and that doesn't phase me in the slightest. Hell, there are even times when I start laughing. Can't help it! It's either laugh or get pissed and I think the first of the two is a much better way to deal with it all.

Well there are also those times when what you are hearing on the other end of the line sends twinges of disbelief all through you. You have to sit back a second and actually ask yourself if you are really hearing what you think you are hearing.

**WARNING!!! What you are about to read contains foul language and strong sexual content. If this content bothers you, I suggest you stop reading now for I cannot be held liable for injuring your virgin ears***

For example.... Take Betty for instance. She has an account that is severely late. So late its getting to the point where the lender is simply going to pursue her for nothing short of the balance on the account. Well, we call Betty and here is the conversation...



***Disclaimer... the names have been changed to protect the innocent but the story in which you are about to read is true.***

ME: Hello, may I speak with Betty Please?

MAN ON PHONE: Who the fuck is this?

ME: My name is Kristine and I'm calling from ******. Is Betty there?

MAN ON PHONE: Fuck you Bitch! You aren't talking to my wife!

ME: Sir, this really isn't necessary, I was merely calling to speak with your wife about a personal business matter. I am calling on the ******** account.

MAN ON PHONE: Bitch! She has personal business alright and that is sucking on my balls!

***Now mind you, I normally wouldn't listen to this stuff because its a huge waste of time, however, this man was so completely crazy I had to see where it would go. Does this make me a little sick a twisted? Possibly but hey, I have to get my entertainment whenever I can at work. So what do I do? I play into it! SICK PUPPY I AM!***

ME: Sir, I really don't understand where you are going with all of this. I really need to talk to Betty. Is she there?

***I pause a second and hear nothing so I proceed***

ME: Federal law requires me to inform you that this is an attempt to collect the debt and any information I obtain will be used for that purpose. This call may be monitored or recorded for quality assurance and training purposes.

MAN ON PHONE: Go ahead and record me Bitch cuz I don't give a fuck!

ME: Sir, can I talk to Betty or do you want to talk about the account?

MAN ON PHONE: If you want to talk to Betty you will have to come over here and pry her mouth off my big black cock! Ain't that right bitch! Huh???

***Right now my hand is on the mute button and I am telling the manager I sit next to and the girl on the other side to listen to the conversation. They jump up excitedly and come over to my desk.***

ME: So are you unwilling to discuss your account with us?

MAN ON PHONE: Balls Bitch! You know you like em' don't ya? And that is the only thing you are gettin' outta me! You heard me Bitch! You get my balls to pay your fucking bill with!

***snickering with my friend and manager. We can tell by the slurred words he has to be slightly drunk, wait... really drunk.***

FELLOW COLLECTOR BESIDE ME LISTENING: This dude be off da chain! DAMN!!! This mutha fucka is Off Da Hook!!! **snickering loudly**

MY MANAGER: Keep him on the line for a few minutes so we can get him on tape.

MAN ON PHONE: Balls! Suck My Balls Bitch! Suck My Balls Bitch!

***The crazy idiot goes into a song of "Suck my balls bitch" for a good 2 minutes. It didn't get old either. Between the words, which he sang so eloquently mind you, he managed to throw in a few "oh's" along with some humming. I am telling you, the man should be nominated for a Grammy! After that 2 minutes, the phone fell silent. It was my chance!***

ME: Are you done because you owe me $2382.64 and I need to know when you are going to pay this bill?

MAN ON PHONE: I already told you how I was gonna pay Bitch!

ME: Okay sir! We are getting no where so I am going to hang up now and we will call you again tomorrow.

MAN ON PHONE: Fuck you bitch! Call me later today!

***With that I hung up the phone***

Now this is not the normal person I talk to. In fact, they are few and far between, but when you get one on the phone, you have to take a moment and listen. Talking to people like this give an amazing insight into the lives of the people in the world around me.

Listening to the twisted, disgusting and disturbed of this planet make me realize I am not so crazy. **breathing a sigh of relief and wiping a bead of sweat from my forehead.**

The sad thing is I only wish my little tale were an exaggeration but they aren't. Okay, I lied about the wishing they were an exaggeration. I have to admit, I do love listening to this stuff. If only I could get my hands on the recordings. You see, he hasn't just talked to me this way. He does it to every single female he gets on his phone. I scrolled back through all of the notes to see comments like, "Male has a filthy mouth!" and "Man said very rude and dirty things to me!"

Ahhh what a world!

Now will I ever get money out of this guy? Oh Hell No!!! It wouldn't happen! Not in a million years. But the ride we as collectors will take to try and get this guy to pay will be an intense and more than interesting one.

School..... Not Like It Use To Be...

School has changed since I was there...

UNION CITY, N.J. (AP) - School district officials are trying to identify who watched $250 worth of pay-per-view pornographic movies using a school cable television box, officials said.

Someone after business hours used one of the five cable boxes in the Board of Education building to order the films, priced between $4.95 and $9.95.

The cable provider, Cablevision, has refunded the school district the money, and is helping to investigate the purchases.

School officials have since gotten rid of three of the cable boxes. A board official said the building had cable in case there was an emergency.

My guess is the janitor or janitors were tired of sweeping and mopping the floors. Nothing adds a little spice to your place of employment like watching blow jobs and hot sex free of charge! Maybe today I will go to work and surf internet porn. Wonder how long I will have a job??? I bet they had the following bumper stickers on their car too....




Okay I have to admit, this whole thing makes me laugh a little bit. I can't help it. The world around me never ceases to amaze.....

Now what is my mood for the day????

QUIRKY!!!

Just a Good Thought....

Lately, I have been having entirely too much fun! Wait! That doesn't sound right? How can I have too much fun? Honestly, I don't think there is such a thing......

So I will start over....

Lately, I have been having So Much Fun!!!

Life is so crazy. There are so many things happening in my life lately that most people would run screaming down the street pulling their hair out as they go. I do need to correct part of that statement..... Our lives have been that way. I have to mention Michael and my son in that because they are as affected by everything as much as I am. Besides, we are a family and families deal with everything together right???

But regardless of how crazy, monotonous, hard or whatever other descriptive word you can find to call life I am just happy as hell because we have managed (and pretty darn good if you ask me) to stay focused and positive. We have found the fun in each other.

It doesn't matter if Michael is doing some crazy ass jig in the middle of the living room floor or my son is telling one of his off the wall jokes, its always fun.

There was a time when my outlet of fun was sitting on this computer. It didn't matter what I was doing it was my source of entertainment.

Now things are different.

I share my life with someone who makes the world fun. He is silly and unique. The bottom-line is this... Michael is himself.

He spends time with myself and my son. What else could we ask for?

Now don't get me wrong, I still love getting on the computer from time to time, but nothing like before. I use to spend hours and hours on the computer every day but now, not even close. I have a great family to occupy my mind and time.

And you know what? For the first time in a long time, I truly believe all of us are happy.

I refuse to sugar coat it all though. I won't make you think we are some perfect sitcom family because its far from it. We have our moments of sadness and tension. But who doesn't? We have just kept in mind that none of that really matters as long as you have family and friends who love and care about you. We make it through the rough times by talking about and then making sure we laugh afterwards.

There once was a time when I hated life but guess what? I love it now more than ever.... And believe it or not, happiness really isn't that hard to get. You just need to sit back and enjoy the world around you. Take it in and try not to miss a thing. But most of all, try and make it fun. Be silly. Act the fool on occasion! And always smile :)



These are a couple of picture from when we went down to Crown Center weekend before last. A day when fun and silliness reigned supreme!