I am an Addict in DESPERATE need of a Support Group

Damn what a weekend!

I know I am not alone when I say this, but Weekends are so precious to me. I don't mind working but it's always nice to have those days where I can stay up as late as I want and sleep in the next day. And that is exactly what happens around here.

Michael and I will usually stay up until the wee hours of the morning watching movies or listening to his 2 million songs he has on his computer. Okay it's not quite 2 million but he is working on it slowly but surely.

This weekend was really nice. We had the entire house to ourselves this weekend. My son went and stayed over at my sister's house to hang out with my nephew.

So what did Michael and I do? Well I would tell you but then I would have to kill you for fear you would tell everyone..... Kidding.... Or am I???

Doesn't that make it sound like we did all sorts of top secret things?? **snicker** Maybe we were?

Seriously, we did what made us happy which is simply spend time with each other. We do that anyway all of the time but it always a little more special when there are no other voices around.

So we ended up pretty much having an unlimited movie watching weekend. Here is the run down...

The Departed.... Great movie with Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Wahlburg.

Superman Returns.... I wasn't sure how this one would be considering there was no Christopher Reeves but I actually liked it. Okay someone at work told this joke the other day and even though it's in the extreme realm of bad taste, I am going to post it anyway.

What is the opposite of Christopher Reeves? ***Starting in with the Jeopardy Music*** and the answer is.... What is Christopher Walken?? Okay.... Okay bad joke but funny as hell :) Christopher Walken! You get it right???

Deja Vu.... This movie was a trip! It went in places I really didn't think it would!

The Fast and the Furious, Tokyo Drift.... I love watching movies with great driving. Maybe it's because I know deep inside that I could drive just like that. Hell what am I talking about? I can see myself behind the wheel of a Nascar that's how much I love to drive!

And how can I forget the shining star of all of the movies we watched???

The Death of a Cheerleader.... This incredible little tale was the workings of the Lifetime Movie Network and stars Kelly Martin and Tori Spelling. If I tell you about the movie it will give it away so I will put it this way, Tori Spelling plays a character named Stacy Lockwood who is the type of person who is very popular in school because her family has money and because she is a mean bitch. She spends her time making fun of others to make herself look good. Kelly Martin plays Angela Delvecchio. Poor Angela has it bad. She is not popular and not the most beautiful girl in the world and her ambition is to simply be popular and well liked so she chooses Stacy to model her life after and tries to become her friend until things go horribly wrong! Now I cannot divulge anything else here because it would give it away. Just know this movie is based on a true story and will leave you going "Wow! So this is what happens when you are a mega bitch to those less fortunate than yourself!" I decided to do a little research on the story and found out the real names of people were Kristen Costas "Stacey Lockwood" and Bernadette Prutti, "Angela Delvecchio". Damn peer pressure is a fucking bitch! If you care to read the actual story, click here.

See with me going on this little verbal rampage, I now must tell you that I am an addict. That's right. I am addicted to the Lifetime Movie Network. They always sucker me in with their movies based on real facts. Hell just the other day, I was watching "Small Sacrifices" which is the story of psycho crazy lady Diane Downs who kills her children to get a man. Fucking Loon! And who stars as Diane Downs you may ask? Farrah Fawcett! It's such a good movie that I actually recorded it so I could watch it again. I am soooooooo pathetic!

And what is on my television screen right now? Try the Lifetime Movie Network! And what movie is on you may be wondering? "When Andrew Came Home". This is a movie about a child who comes home after being kidnapped by his abusive father for 5 years.

See how bad this is? I seriously need some help! I cannot even begin to tell you how much of my life has been spent staring at the flickering light box, aka the television, completely immersed in the world of Lifetime Movies. If I sat here and really thought about it, I could probably come up with a list of a couple hundred movies I know I have watched but that wouldn't compare to a list I could make if I could remember them all.

Oh GOD! Why hast thou forsaken me? Why hast thou brought forth LMN into my life?

So I guess I have to do a 12 step program or something. I need to get up to the podium in front of everyone and say it just like this.

"Hello everyone... My name is Chalice and I am a Lifetime movie addict. It all began some 5 years ago while working at my best friend NaughtyVoyeur's house. NV allowed me to watch her satellite television while I worked and it was because of this, that slowly but surely, I became addicted to the Lifetime Movie Network. It started off relatively slow. Just a movie here and there but then it became an every day thing. I had to get my Movie fix. I had to see who was going to die or what severe ailment one had just so I could make it through my day. It's to the point where I turn that station on when I get up daily just to see what is going to be on and whether or not I should record something while I am at work. There have even been weekends where I went on binges of doing nothing but watching movie after movie after movie. So I say this, 'Lifetime Movie Network, you may think you have won but you have not! I refuse to allow my life to be overrun by you and your made-for-tv movies anymore! No more will I watch movies about Death, Rape, Who is the Daddy, I have Scleroderma, My daughter is a prostitute, I want to dance so bad I gave myself Bulemia, I am not pretty and popular so its everyone else's fault, My husband killed my daughter because he has Multiple Personality Disorder, Someone stole my baby and we got blamed when it was all an elaborate baby buying scheme and I killed for a man! That's right Lifetime! You will not have me as your Movie-Watching Slave anymore!' Well wait, there is a good one on now so I will check back with all of you later and fill you in on my progress of beating this nasty addiction!"

And that is when I run for the door, jump into my car and head home to veg out on my couch and curl up with a good movie! Does anyone have any popcorn? I think I am running out!

So can anyone help save me from the Beast that is "The Lifetime Movie Network"??? That's right I called it the beast! I think we have found the identity of the Anti-Christ!