Gimme A Break!!!

One thing I love to do in the mornings is get up and read the news on the internet. It just seems to start off my day right you know???

Well this morning I was looking around and I see this headline:

'Santa Warned "Ho Ho Ho" Offensive To Women'

Hmmmm... I wonder what this is all about???

As it turns out, all of the Santa's in Sydney Australia are no longer allowed to say the famous words of 'Ho Ho Ho!' because Ho is an American slang word for prostitute and they don't want to offend women.

Are they serious???

But it gets better. Instead of 'Ho Ho Ho' they are being forced to say 'Ha Ha Ha'....

I am going to be sick...

Every kid you know has grown up to his 'Ho Ho Ho' for years and years and years so what gives them the right to change it??? Jackasses...


If you would like to read the whole story, click here.

Finally Popped My Cherry

For years I always prided myself on having one thing that pretty much everyone in family didn't have. Wait, let me rephrase that, all of my family and all of my friends... **slackers** And that my friends is a perfectly, squeaky clean driving record.....

***SIGH***

Wednesday was the day from hell people. And I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that either. Murphy's Law was in full effect!!! So much so that I almost looked up ole' Murphy, went to his house and kicked the ever-lovin' shit out of him. Bastard!!!

Wednesday was called "Let's throw shit at Chalice Day and see exactly how she takes it!"

Well I took it well thank you.

But the one thing about Wednesday that stood out above everything else was this.... I got my first ticket from the police EVER!!! Can you believe it? 37 years old and I get my first ticket.

Now it's my own fault I got this ticket and it was because the tags on my car are expired. Yes I am actually admitting to this. It shouldn't be that way but none-the-less it is. So Michael and I are coming back from doing a few errands and we are pulling into my apartment complex and a cop passes us. I look in my rearview mirror to see him immediately turn around. Michael says, "Hurry up and go park!"

So I get to the parking spot and just as we got out of the car they stop behind me and yell through the speaker "GET BACK IN YOUR VEHICLE!"

Fuckers scared the shit out of me with this. I kept waiting for guns to be drawn because in this little town I live in they are known for just whipping them out for whatever reason but thankfully they didn't.

The cop came to my window and says, "I pulled you over because you are driving on expired tags and there is just no excuse for that!"

I thought. "Duh! Okay thanks dad!" But I politely handed him my license and so did Michael and he went back to his car. He came back and wrote me a ticket for the tags but as he was writing it up I tried to tell him what a good girl I normally was and that I had never had a ticket. I thought about crying since my day had already sucked to high heaven but I didn't! Damn it I just did not want that fucking ticket! I even thought about jumping out of the car and bowing at his feet just so I could stay unflawed but I knew my efforts would be futile!!!

I then enlightened him as to how much he scared the crap out of me with his "Get Back In The Vehicle!" thing. He actually chuckled a bit and said sorry but since he didn't know me from anyone else he had to stay safe.... **SIGH**

I am such a bad girl!!!

Now I gotta something else to pay... I love life but it's my own fault! I hate cars sometimes...

Rare and Hard To Find

If there is one thing is this world that always seems to bring back good memories it's watching old movies. They always remind you of hanging out with old friends or watching a movie late at night with your family.

For years I have searched high and low for a movie called "The Whoopee Boys". I use to watch this movie over and over again when I was a teenager with my best friend at the time, Jamie.

In this comedy, a relocation to Florida throws lowlife New Yorkers Barney (Paul Rodriguez) and Jake (Michael O'Keefe) into a dilemma when Jake falls for a beautiful schoolteacher, Olivia Farragut (Lucinda Jenney), who is struggling to find enough money to keep her school open. However, when they discover that Olivia stands to inherit a fortune, if only she will marry a true gentlemen, Jake decides to transform himself into the epitome of good breeding by going to charm school.

I have been driving Michael crazy by quoting lines from this movie for months and now I have finally found a place to purchase this rare movie. I found a site called MissedMovies.com. They don't have a tremendous amount of movies but they do have some very old and rare movies you cannot purchase anywhere around.

So in the spirit of driving Michael crazy, here is a little snip-it from the screenplay-

Barney: [at another party, Barney sees the same old lady, now holding a Shar-Pei in her arm] Hey, it's my favorite dog lady again! How you doing? You have a new dog?
Woman with Dogs: Yes, this is a Shar-Pei; it's a Chinese dog.
Barney: [Barney pulls on the dog's wrinkled skin] Damn, you need to iron this dog, lady. Look at this!
Woman with Dogs: No, stop, that's just how the dog is!
Barney: Shit, you could fit two dogs in here!
[he continues to pull on the dog's loose skin]
Woman with Dogs: [Slapping Barney's hand away] No! Please, stop abusing my dog, you horrible man!
Barney: You have any Vietnamese neighbors?
Woman with Dogs: No, I don't think so.
Barney: Well, if any ever move in, and you go on vacation, believe me, you're going to want to take Fluffy with you! You'll come back and your dog will be missing it's hind leg, saying 'where were you?'
Woman with Dogs: Oh! That's horrible! You terrible, horrible man!
Barney: You go next door and talk to your neighbor, and he'll be standing there, picking his teeth, 'No! We no see Fluffy! What your dog look like? Your dog have big, juicy hind leg?'
Woman with Dogs: Oh, you awful man! Please, go away!
Barney: Fine! I guess this means we can't be pals no more?

So this is my next purchase for myself. It's only $11.99 on DVD. And that is a freakin' bargain! On ebay you can buy the VHS tape for anywhere from $29.95 all the way to $100 all because it's so rare :) I love finding something I really love!

Ask and you shall receive! Isn't that what they always say???!!! Now enjoy a couple clips I found on YouTube!

Curing Boredom on a Sunday Morning

So here it is on a Sunday morning and I am doing not much of anything spectacular. So why not just babble on here right?????

Yesterday we had our bonfire at my aunt's house and it was actually quite a bit of fun. I will post some pictures as soon as I get them all sorted out. There was lots of beer drinking and fishing going on. Not to mention the beautiful fire itself. All in all, it was a really good time.

This morning I had a revelation. Anyone that knows me understands how much I absolutely adore horror movies. Especially all of the old ones. So what did I do today? I sat down and created a desktop for the month of October. Halloween, afterall, is like Christmas to me.

So what do you think?? It's an ode to all of those cheesy movies I love so much. Eventually, I would love to have a room in my home filled with nothing but old movie posters. How cool would that be? I love the dramatic use of colors they used when creating these pieces of art.

Besides what is not to love in these old classics? Who cares about special effects when you have overacting at it's best. The faces! The screams of sheer terror! Damn I am starting to quiver just thinking about it and it makes me wanna dig out my collection and start watching :)

Check out this list of old classics I have:

• 1959 - A Bucket of Blood
• 1960 - Little Shop of Horrors
• 1963 - The Terror
• 1960 - The Wasp Woman
• 1939 - The Gorilla
• 1941 - The Devil Bat
• 1939 - The Human Monster
• 1941 - The Invisible Ghost
• 1943 - The Ape Man
• 1962 - Carvnival of Souls
• 1940 - Chamber of Horrors
• 1924 - The Last Man of Earth
• 1932 - White Zombie
• 1958 - House on Haunted Hill
• 1961 - Werewolf in a Girls' Dormitory
• 1973 - Don't Look in the Basement

I found this on YouTube and thought everyone would enjoy. It's the original 1932 movie White Zombie staring Bela Lugosi who happens to be my all-time favorite horror movie actor! So get your popcorn, something to drink then kick back and become submersed!

Have a great rest of your weekend everyone!

Oh How I Love Celebrities...

So last night I am watching some damn show before bed. It was Access Hollywood or something like that and they are talking about Denise Richards and the Charlie Sheen divorce battle. I usually ignore this type of stuff because who really gives a shit right?? Well when they started talking about phone calls made my Sheen to Richards and their content, it peaked my curiousity :)

Being the sad person I am I went to The Smoking Gun website and found the calls and the entire court transcript. Here are a few excepts of messages Sheen left of Richards voice mail...

"Yeah I just got Laura's letter regarding everything blah, blah, blah and I can't get ahold of my lawyer so I thought I would try to call you directly. Um, it's really fucking sad. It's really sad and I am really angry and I don't think it's fucking fair and I don't know what you're trying to do and I just umm so disappointed in you. You're such a disappointment. You're such a fucking asshole and if this time you want to fucking deal with each other, you know, you're saying one thing and then you do the other and it's just, you know, fuck you."

"Yeah, I just got your other email and I am a little confused because ahhhh you told me that was something you only told a couple of people and this and that and I just again you continue to be deceitful and mischeivous and sneaky and you're a fucking liar. Okay. You're a fucking liar so you know what it's like...fuck you. Okay, I hope you rot in fucking hell. You're a piece of shit fucking liar and I hope you rot in fucking hell. So fuck you. I hope I never fucking talk to you again you fucking cunt. Fuck you. You're a fucking coward and a liar and a fucking nigger alright so fuck you."

"Hey, I'm going to go home early so if you wanted to come back early then go ahead. I just hate to leave early and then you come home and then I hear from Laura in a letter that costs me you know five grand that you know I didn't let you know I was leaving early. So I gonna leave early. Okay? Dick face. That's what I gonna do. Goodbye."

This guy went on a 6 message rampage for 24 hours and they are all quite comical. I think he was on a binger and probably doesn't even remember making the calls to begin with.

Although, I am curious as to what she saw in him to begin with. He already had a rep for drugs and hookers. Sounds like prince charming to me... :)

Ahhhh... Hollywood love at its finest :)

Voyeur.... Via the Flickering Light Box

voy·eur - (voi-yûr') - n.

1. A person who derives sexual gratification from observing the naked bodies or sexual acts of others, especially from a secret vantage point.
2. An obsessive observer of sordid or sensational subjects.

I am a voyeur. Yes, I have said it. Yes, I can admit it. I am a Voyeur.

Now with the admittance that I am indeed a Voyeur, I must make sure to emphasize that I am an Obsessive Observer of sordid or sensational subjects and not one who derives sexual gratification from basically being a peeping-tom.

To sum it up, I like to observe people around me at all times. I can be driving in my car and if I pass someone or they pass me, I will take a look at them. Sometimes in stores, I will just stop for a moment and take a look at someone ahead of me.

But my big thing is reality TV. How sad is that? Yet again this year, I am been suckered in by the show 'Big Brother' but this year it is a little more involved. You see Showtime has apparently teamed up with CBS and for 3 hours each and every night you get to watch the house guests live and uncut. And I CAN'T STAY AWAY!!!

I wish I could explain why but I can't other than to say watching how certain personalities attempt to mesh inside the house is sheer entertainment. I take bets with myself as to who is going to lose their mind first. I yell at certain contestants on the show as if they can somehow silently hear my warning to take heed. It truly is sad...

It makes me wonder what I would do if trapped inside a place like that. Could I actually live in a house with a ton of people I have never met for 3 months? Could I stay there and remain sane knowing I will have absolutely no contact with the outside world? No TV. No Radio. No Newspaper. No Phone Calls. No Internet. Not to mention NO PRIVACY!!! There are hundreds of camera's in that house. Even in the bathroom and the shower. And I forgot to mention the microphones. Every single conversation is recorded and heard.

Could I Do It???

Probably not. And I say that because I would absolutely could not go without having my privacy. I could probably deal with living with a ton of strangers for 3 months, especially knowing there is the prospect of receiving $500,000. But the lack of alone time would get me.

Whenever I am upset about something or I don't feel good, I simply want to be left alone. Don't touch me. Don't screw with me. Just leave me the fuck alone until I am ready to become social again.

And it is for those reasons that I am drawn to this show. I want to know will they react to something the way I would? Will they fight or surrender? Will they break down and cry or throw the biggest temper-tantrum you have ever seen?

The idea of watching people is an old one. Everyone, for the most part, wants to observe the actions of others. We can't help ourselves. Does this make us bad? No. Actually, my personal opinion is quite the contrary. In some ways its even a good thing. When we observe the negative behavior of others it tends to make us think of ourselves and how we would handle ourselves in similar situations. We get to see how everyone deals with their negativity and decide if we want to ever be looked at in the same light. Definitely not a bad thing right???

The only thing that makes it bad is simply this. Sometimes, it takes observing the bad to realize that we shouldn't do something.

I guess this brings up morality. And all I want to say about morality is this. Everyone has a set of morals. No one's is the same. We will never entirely agree with the things people around us do but that is what makes us unique. We have that right. If you don't like something you see, then turn away because that does not mean everyone else shares your opinion and just because you do not like something does not give you the right to make that person stop whatever it is they are doing just to make you happy.

Remember, morality means to conform to a specific set of rules of conduct that are considered right and just by the majority. UGH..........

You see how all of this comes together????

I thought so.....

So now that I have gone on a tangent that I truly did not expect to do, let me say this again.

I am a Voyeur and I like it.... I have morals and scruples too but I am a Voyeur via the Flickering Light Box aka.... The Television...

Why Do I Love Him???

My long wait has finally come to a screeching halt as Gordon Ramsey reopened Hell's Kitchen last night. Why do I love this Man? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Is it his uncontrollable tirades and very blantant use of the word 'Fuck'? Is it that glazed-over look of a madman he gets in those eyes as he screams at the contestants on the show? Or maybe its the way he so eloquently takes a bite of someones food and gracefully calls it 'shit' and spits it out.

Whatever the case, I am so excited to have the madman back! All Hail Gordon Ramsey and Hell's Kitchen! Anyway, it's much better than the Sopranos ending.......

Sordid Tales of a Bill Collector

As strange as it is to say, I am a Bill Collector.... and I am good at it!

I began my crazy career as a collector some 18 years ago (good Lord if that doesn't give away my age!). I started down this interesting path by mistake. I was working at a temp agency and got sent to a rather large company (who shall remain nameless but it rhymes with Shittybank) thus falling head first into the entertaining and cruel world of the debt collector.

It may seem strange to those of you who read my blog and see me in a completely different light, but there is a side of me that is fairly aggressive and it's that part that allows me to come to life, so-to-speak, on the other end of the phone with someone who cannot pay their bills.

Now I am not one of those who insists on badgering and intimidating the caller on the other end of the line. I just don't see the point in it all if you really want to know. Especially considering the majority of the people I talk to really want to pay their bills but they just don't have the money. Hey, life happens and so many times it means we suffer financial woes so why treat someone like shit when they just don't have the money.

Yes, for the most part I am a very nice and fairly compassionate bill collector.

I know.... I know.... It sounds strange but never-the-less, it's very true.

But even I have my moments. Yep, those times when the person on the other end of the line, well to put it bluntly, is a complete fucking asshole. I wish I had a nicer word for it but why sugar coat the facts???

I have been called every single name in the book and that doesn't phase me in the slightest. Hell, there are even times when I start laughing. Can't help it! It's either laugh or get pissed and I think the first of the two is a much better way to deal with it all.

Well there are also those times when what you are hearing on the other end of the line sends twinges of disbelief all through you. You have to sit back a second and actually ask yourself if you are really hearing what you think you are hearing.

**WARNING!!! What you are about to read contains foul language and strong sexual content. If this content bothers you, I suggest you stop reading now for I cannot be held liable for injuring your virgin ears***

For example.... Take Betty for instance. She has an account that is severely late. So late its getting to the point where the lender is simply going to pursue her for nothing short of the balance on the account. Well, we call Betty and here is the conversation...



***Disclaimer... the names have been changed to protect the innocent but the story in which you are about to read is true.***

ME: Hello, may I speak with Betty Please?

MAN ON PHONE: Who the fuck is this?

ME: My name is Kristine and I'm calling from ******. Is Betty there?

MAN ON PHONE: Fuck you Bitch! You aren't talking to my wife!

ME: Sir, this really isn't necessary, I was merely calling to speak with your wife about a personal business matter. I am calling on the ******** account.

MAN ON PHONE: Bitch! She has personal business alright and that is sucking on my balls!

***Now mind you, I normally wouldn't listen to this stuff because its a huge waste of time, however, this man was so completely crazy I had to see where it would go. Does this make me a little sick a twisted? Possibly but hey, I have to get my entertainment whenever I can at work. So what do I do? I play into it! SICK PUPPY I AM!***

ME: Sir, I really don't understand where you are going with all of this. I really need to talk to Betty. Is she there?

***I pause a second and hear nothing so I proceed***

ME: Federal law requires me to inform you that this is an attempt to collect the debt and any information I obtain will be used for that purpose. This call may be monitored or recorded for quality assurance and training purposes.

MAN ON PHONE: Go ahead and record me Bitch cuz I don't give a fuck!

ME: Sir, can I talk to Betty or do you want to talk about the account?

MAN ON PHONE: If you want to talk to Betty you will have to come over here and pry her mouth off my big black cock! Ain't that right bitch! Huh???

***Right now my hand is on the mute button and I am telling the manager I sit next to and the girl on the other side to listen to the conversation. They jump up excitedly and come over to my desk.***

ME: So are you unwilling to discuss your account with us?

MAN ON PHONE: Balls Bitch! You know you like em' don't ya? And that is the only thing you are gettin' outta me! You heard me Bitch! You get my balls to pay your fucking bill with!

***snickering with my friend and manager. We can tell by the slurred words he has to be slightly drunk, wait... really drunk.***

FELLOW COLLECTOR BESIDE ME LISTENING: This dude be off da chain! DAMN!!! This mutha fucka is Off Da Hook!!! **snickering loudly**

MY MANAGER: Keep him on the line for a few minutes so we can get him on tape.

MAN ON PHONE: Balls! Suck My Balls Bitch! Suck My Balls Bitch!

***The crazy idiot goes into a song of "Suck my balls bitch" for a good 2 minutes. It didn't get old either. Between the words, which he sang so eloquently mind you, he managed to throw in a few "oh's" along with some humming. I am telling you, the man should be nominated for a Grammy! After that 2 minutes, the phone fell silent. It was my chance!***

ME: Are you done because you owe me $2382.64 and I need to know when you are going to pay this bill?

MAN ON PHONE: I already told you how I was gonna pay Bitch!

ME: Okay sir! We are getting no where so I am going to hang up now and we will call you again tomorrow.

MAN ON PHONE: Fuck you bitch! Call me later today!

***With that I hung up the phone***

Now this is not the normal person I talk to. In fact, they are few and far between, but when you get one on the phone, you have to take a moment and listen. Talking to people like this give an amazing insight into the lives of the people in the world around me.

Listening to the twisted, disgusting and disturbed of this planet make me realize I am not so crazy. **breathing a sigh of relief and wiping a bead of sweat from my forehead.**

The sad thing is I only wish my little tale were an exaggeration but they aren't. Okay, I lied about the wishing they were an exaggeration. I have to admit, I do love listening to this stuff. If only I could get my hands on the recordings. You see, he hasn't just talked to me this way. He does it to every single female he gets on his phone. I scrolled back through all of the notes to see comments like, "Male has a filthy mouth!" and "Man said very rude and dirty things to me!"

Ahhh what a world!

Now will I ever get money out of this guy? Oh Hell No!!! It wouldn't happen! Not in a million years. But the ride we as collectors will take to try and get this guy to pay will be an intense and more than interesting one.

Torture???

Alright everyone... I need some input here!

Now if a person hates to be tickled, do you think it can be considered torture to tickle that person???

In case you are wondering, I HATE TO BE TICKLED!!!

I think tickling is cruel and mean. So what if I happen to laugh while its being done, that doesn't necessarily mean I am enjoying it? In fact, its quite the opposite. It hurts....

Michael and I always sit side by side on the couch when we are spacing off into the lala land known as the television. Well, for whatever reason, he always feels the need to tickle the shit out of me. Sometimes it's so bad I end up sliding off the couch onto the floor as its my only way of getting away from him all while screaming at the top of my lungs. Dare I mention I am usually about 2 seconds away from wetting my pants????!!!!

See cruelty.... Pure and Simple....

So now let me give you a scenario....

Last night we were once again sprawled out on the couch watching tv when Michael decides it is his mission to help me rid myself of my fear of being tickled.

"Baby, come on just lift up your arm! Have trust!"

"Fuck NO! I have no trust because you always tickle me!"

Slowly my arm is being pulled upward exposing my arm pit...

"Michael! STOP IT!!! I don't want to be tickled!"

"I'm not going to tickle you! I swear! Just trust me!"

With him holding up one arm he lies his hand right inside my arm pit and moves it a little.

Here is me... Squirm... Squirm... Legs bouncing up and down wildly... Squirm... Squirm...

"STOP IT!!! MICHAEL PLEASE!!! STOP IT!!! I HATE THIS!!! I KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT!!! I KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO TICKLE ME!!! PLEASE JUST STOP IT!!!"

"See I'm not doing anything. Its you moving that is making it tickle!"

After a good minute he finally stops.... Laughing at his conquest.... Laughing at my lack of trust... Just laughing at me....

Big Butthead.....

He did this twice last night. And then what happened??? He decided to tickle me for real and it was awful!!! So much for trust right???

HELP!!! Help me stop this evil menace and his crazy ass mission to tickle me when he knows exactly how much I hate it....

I have a feeling I will have most of you women on my side but you men seem to find situations like this amusing... Cruel!!! MEAN!!!! ***hmpfffffffffff***

Hey? What You Know Good?

Okay... I know I have been gone... I have been off doing all sorts of things and have neglected my blog and I'm sorry! Blogger please forgive me! I did not mean to push you to the side and not update regularly as I should!

Life has been busy!

but...

Life has also been a mixed bag of craziness, frustration and excitement... but its all good :)

Michael and I are going through quite a bit these days. Some of it good. Some of it not-so-good. However, he and I are closer than we have ever been so I will just sum everything up by saying all-in-all, life is wonderful and its only getting better!

My new work hours are good for me. I am not getting home until late and after sitting at a computer all day long the last thing I ever think about doing is getting on this thing and typing. Yes, this blog has always been the best stress relief but my new job actually takes care of alot of that for me so anymore, I come home happy as hell. And then all I wanna do is spend my time with Michael. Did I mention I love this man?? **snicker**

Thankfully, I haven't missed out on any of my shows because he records them for me.

American Idol is about to piss me off.. Sanjaya?? Why is this little boy still on this show?? That's it, I'm nauseous...

I heard a commercial last night for one of my sinful indulgences... Big Brother... Its going on its 8th season and is wanting people to audition. I am trying to talk Michael into doing it. He would be so much fun to watch on tv.... Besides he is a little off-kilter....wait....back up... he is crazy and would fit right on in with the madness which is Big Brother :)

Okay I just wanted to update you guys a little bit but I ended off talking gibberish. **sigh** Everyone, thank you for stopping by and checking in on me... It made me smile :)

I will be back this weekend. Probably do some of the webcam stuff... Im kinda missin' it...

xoxoxoxo
Chal..

A Pity Party You Say???

Okay I am having one of those days and I hate it. Actually I should not even say its one of those days because my day has not been bad in the slightest....but all of a sudden, well within the last hour, I feel invisible.

I can't explain it. I know its just me but that's the way I feel.

I feel boring...

I feel unimportant...

I feel like I am no fun what-so-ever...

I feel like I could just walk out the door and no one would even fucking notice.....

I feel like a wallflower...

It's funny because I know its only me because no one else is making me feel this way but I still cannot help myself.

But what makes it even worse is the thought of asking anyone to make me feel better because I feel like its something I should be doing on my own. I mean who am I? What makes me so special that I should feel the need to find someone to make me feel better about myself? I know I need to drag myself out of this hole but right now I am not succeeding.

No one makes me feel this way but for whatever reason I just do.

And when I even begin to think that I want to try and talk about it I feel like I am about to cry.

Now don't anyone go and think that Blu isn't doing his part because he is. He always does. Whenever he thinks there is something wrong with me he lets me know because he pays attention...

But tonight I just cannot communicate for whatever reason. I can't spit the words out because they just won't come. It's like they are lodged in the back of my throat and no matter how hard I try they just won't budge. And then whatever I say comes out wrong and is taken the wrong way so then I feel like I should just shut the fuck up... Because I don't want to bring anyone down...

Does anyone else ever feel like this or is it just me???

I think I am just over hormonal... I blame myself and no one else... Sorry guys I know that word hormonal just eats at you but its the truth. I think most of us women are like this sometimes.

I am apparently having my own little pity party but I forgot to send out invitations...

I am playing the worlds smallest violin without an audience to enjoy it with me... Not that anyone would even enjoy the songs I would be playing but whatever right???

So forgive me everyone.. I needed to vent... How sad is this? I vented and it meant nothing.

Do I feel better? Hell no.. I still feel like running down the street screaming my head off and tearing out my hair...

I guess it just sucks. Here it is Saturday night and I feel like doing anything other than what I am doing right now. I hate sitting in this house. I wouldn't care if I were just outside staring at the sky... it would be better than this but then again... its fucking cold so I would bitch about that... So go figure..

I need a night out..

I need to get away badly...

Is that bad?

Is it selfish??

Is it wrong???

Probably...

By the way.. My head is pounding...

Blu Has Issues... Big Ones...

HA!!! It was my turn!!! :)

Just for the record everyone.. I have decided to quit posting all of the mushy stuff about Blu and I on this blog.. So what did I do? I created a new blog to post nothing but that. So if you really care about reading the mushy stuff, click HERE!!! But just remember that doesn't mean I won't rip on him here because I WILL!!! Because I can and there is nothing he can do about it!

Do Bad Thoughts Make Me A Bad Person?

I would first like to point out that I am truly not a bitch (no matter what NV says). I am actually a pretty likable person who gets along with anyone. But does it make me a bad person for wanting to kick an old man down a flight of stairs?

Seriously...

Does this make me rotten, evil and horribly mean?

I work with a man who is 73 years old. He actually retired several years ago and has chosen to stay on and work which I always found to be very admirable.

For the longest time I thought he was an incredibly hard worker not to mention an extremely nice man.

Well, those of you who follow my blog know the company I work for closed down all of their stores back in October. What that meant for me and this old man was we were going to be working at the corporate office and manufacturing facility from that point on.

Unfortunately, the other employees were let go. He and I were the only 2 they bought back to the main facility. Good for us but bad for them.

Anyway, when we first made the transition it was very smooth. I still had it in my mind that this man was just a really cool old guy. Yes he is set in his ways but who in the fuck isn't right? He has some very old fashioned ways about him that I really liked. I was able to carry on a great conversation with him and that is very important to me.

I always loved his work ethic. His customers really seemed to love him and he bent over backwards to make sure they got what they needed when they needed it. Not to mention he is VERY knowledgeable in the world of paint. Whenever I had a question, he was the one I went to more than anyone else because of his length of time in the business. Basically, I looked up to him.

However, a few months have passed since this transition and I have had the chance to really watch this man work in ways I have never seen before.

I have found out he doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about.

He is a mean, grumpy and miserable old man. He yells at people and refuses to listen to anyone around him who is merely being helpful. I can understand that he may not want people to get the impression he is too old to figure shit out but there has to be a fine line somewhere.

He can't match paint to save his life and he mistints the hell out of everything. Very bad for business. You cannot have customers walking out the door thinking they are getting what they ordered when in fact they did not. They received the exact opposite.

He thinks he can do as he pleases whenever he pleases. This old geezer does nothing all day long. He walks around the warehouse with a cup of coffee in his hands and harasses the guys who are working their asses off.... including myself whenever I happen to be down there.

He refuses to follow rules. Okay, I am a rule breaker. I think my previous posts have established that however, there are certain things you just cannot do and he does them anyway. When you work around hazardous materials you have no choice but to be careful or you could kill yourself or someone else. So there are rules you MUST follow.

Well in the last few weeks I have gotten to see the real dark side of this miserable old miser. I swear to God he pisses vinegar. I now view him as the type of man who would intentionally scare little kids to death for his own personal enjoyment. I even made a comment the other day when he seemed to be in a good mood that he must have run over a child on the way to work because he was so damn chipper.

But I have had my fill of this man calling me up and cursing at me because he doesn't like the way things are going. Or following me around the office and or warehouse bitching about how bad he has it. I am tired of this old fuck getting up in my face and trying to assert his "I am man so hear me roar lowly woman" attitude.

Its part of my job to question why he does things that are incorrect and when I ask I get lectured on how I don't know what the hell I am doing.

Yep, he has stroked my fur the wrong way so-to-speak.

And he is about to get kicked down a flight of stairs.

Damn I would much rather be posting something interesting right now instead of venting about some old man but he really pushed it with me today. I can be tolerant to an extent but push me too far and you are going to seriously get burned.

Earlier today he had the nerve to ask me exactly what I did around there. After looking at him like he had strange creatures crawling from his ears I filled him in. About half way through my rant he threw his hand up in my face and went "mwaaaaa". Whatever the hell that is.. I just walked away at that point.

Unfortunately, there are two people around that company who are work horses and that is me and my sister. Our workload is tremendous not to mention stressful. However, as much as we do we are grateful that our jobs are versatile and keep us busier than flies on shit.

Well...

About 20 minutes before he was scheduled to leave I had to call him and ask him if had done something he was supposed to do. Apparently, that was a bad question because his last words to me today were, "Nope! I'm closing up shop and leaving. If you want it done then you do it yourself!" and then the phone slammed down.

Hmmmmm??? **scratching my head really hard and cocking my head sideways with a perplexed look on my face**

What to do?

Well I did do it myself and I will take care of him and his old balls on Monday. Thoughts of driving a forklift up his ass are running through my mind along with several other things but that flight of stairs is still haunting me.....

Okay, you know I won't do it but it feels good to vent and visualize. If that man isn't careful, my sister is gonna do it. He has pissed her off too and she is so much meaner than me....

I love my sister...

Who Is Behind The Mask???

When I was 15 I got my first job working at a fast food place with my best friend Jamie. I hated the job more than anything but I worked with some very "colorful" people so it made going in everyday after school worth it. Of course, being 15 and having a regular paycheck was a bonus too. Can't pass up the money :)

While I was there I began to date a guy that I worked with. Everyone says its pretty much a no-no to ever date anyone you work worth but sometimes we have to learn all of that the hard way right? I know I have one of those personalities where I want to be proven wrong not just told. Hell that little philosophy I lived by is what got me in all of the trouble I got in growing up.....but I never changed. I always insist I can be different than everyone else who has been in similar circumstances. Sometimes its to my benefit but other times I just end up screwing myself royally. **sigh**

Okay back to the guy I dated. He was not bad looking and seemed very very nice. We always managed to have a ton of fun when we worked together so it just seemed right. Besides we had mutual friends and always ended up at the same parties so knowing how well we got along it just seemed natural that we would end up dating.

We dated for several months until it just got to be a little bit too much for me. I began to see him as being slightly possessive of me a overbearing at the same time. What finally broke everything off was him starting to ask me what I was doing, where I was going, who I was talking too...etc... You get the picture. All the signs of something very very bad in the works.

When all of that began to happen, I broke it off.

That did not set well with him. He began to cause problems for me at work and was constantly following me around and harassing me. So much so it got the attention of my manager who found the whole thing very unnerving. He ended up firing him a couple of days later.

I was relieved when he was fired. I thought I would finally be able to move on and breathe without fear of being questioned about everything 24/7. I would be able to work in peace and go back to having fun with all of the people I worked with.

A good 3 weeks passed and I hadn't heard a peep out of the guy. No phone calls. No showing up at my job. No magically appearing at school. He just stopped. It was great.

What a beautiful 3 weeks.

One night while we were closing up the restaurant one of the guys I worked with was taking a bunch of trash out to the dumpster. It was about 11 on a Friday night so it was very dark outside therefore making it impossible for him to see anything other than what was in plain sight. Big deal right? Shit he had been taking the damn trash out there every single night for months so what would make this night any different right?

WRONG!!!

When he got there and was just about to throw the massive bag into the dumpster out jumps someone. He was dressed in a black ninja suit and began tossing those little Ninja Throwing Stars at the guy. And when I say he was wearing a Ninja Suit, I mean the full fucking suit.

All we heard from inside the restaurant were shrieks and screams. That sent everyone running outside to see what the hell was going on.

That is when we see the guy who took out the trash curled up on the ground in the fetal position with a freak in a costume standing over him. He was black from head to toe. Shit his face was even covered up partially just like you would see in some Bruce Lee movie. There really is no accurate way to describe the scenario that would do it any justice what so ever. It was just fucked up. I thought I was lost in some crazy Kung Fu movie or an episode of Candid Camera.

When the guy saw us he immediately ran off.

The guy who took the trash out finally calmed himself down after a couple of minutes and was able to tell us that he was spoke too by the person. Here is a snippet of the conversation:

"I know you are dating my girlfriend man and you are going to pay for taking her away from me! God sent her to me and no one, especially you is going to take her away from me!"

Right then and there I knew who it was behind the mask. It was my ex. As soon as I heard the words "God sent her to me" I fucking knew it. That was something he had told me right before I had broken it off with him.

He had given me some story of praying to God to send him someone way before he met me that he would be with until the day he died. He began to tell me that God had spoken to him on many occasions and told him to be patient and one day it would happen. Then he told me that he had seen me in visions and I was the girl God had spoken to him about.

Can you believe that shit? At age 15 I was that fucking girl??!!! Gimme a damn break here!

I knew he was insane and that is the biggest reason I quit seeing him. Hell I was 15! Seriously! Like I was ready for any kind of serious relationship here especially from someone who claimed to be talking to Jesus and God Almighty himself. No fucking Thank You...

Well the cops were called and I told them who I thought it was but based on everything that happened there was no real proof he did anything and nothing was ever done.

He never bothered me again from that point on and he never showed back up any place I was in any more costumes.

I did find out he dated a girl I knew a couple of years later and he tried to turn her into me. He made her cut her hair like mine and even change her room so it looked exactly like mine. She actually contacted me when they had broken up to tell me all about it. The story actually gave me chills.

What the hell???

I ran into him about 10 years ago in a grocery store. It was a little eerie. He proceeded to tell me how he ended up marrying the very same girl who called me to tell me she had been made into me. How odd is that? They were still married and that is when he asked me if he and I could get together sometime.

I POLITELY said no and walked away.

I have never seen him again...

And that is my story of having a stalker.

Tickity Tock Goes The Damn Clock

can't sleep.
don't sleep.
won't sleep.
shan't sleep.
never sleep.
never sleep.
never sleep.
tick tock
tick tock
tickity tick
tock
tock
tock
the little hand drills a hole into my tired mind.
can't
tick
don't
tock
won't
tick
shan't
tock
never
tick
never
tock
never sleep
the clock keeps ticking
as my mind struggles to keep up
too many ticks.
too many tocks.
the clock's too loud
it echos through the silent night
too many thoughts
all at once
i need them on paper
scribble
tick
scribble
tock
that fucking clock
it never fucking stops
i cant fucking sleep.
a dog barks
tick
a car screeches
tock
a horse neighs...what?
i can't be that tired
i can't be hallucinating
i
can't
sleep.
don't sleep.
won't sleep.
shan't sleep.
never sleep.

i need a digital clock

Did you know that lack of sleep can drive you mad??????