Life Has It's Lessons And Everyone Should Be Informed!

Here are a few lessons in life we should all learn and live by... In the Immortal Words of 'School House Rock', remember "Knowledge is Power!"

LESSON #1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, "

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


LESSON #2
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129

It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


LESSON #3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up! ," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


LESSON #4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: " Sure , why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


LESSON #5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


LESSON #6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


Have A Most Wonderful Day Everyone!
xoxo
Chalice

Answering an Eternal Question!

Today is time to answer an eternal question!!!....

Why do women and men have 2 hands???



I don't know so much about picture number one in this house because I never use a credit card and rarely use the phone. As for picture number 2, well I see this daily in the house :) At least part of it is right **snicker**

Sorry guys but it rings so true! One hand on the Junk and the other on the Remote! I guess it would be a perfect world if the remote were shaped like a penis huh?

To Feel Special

The hardest thing about being in a relationship is remembering to always keep the fire burning and alive. Always give that person a simple reminder that they are in your life because you want them there but most of all, because you love them.

Reminders are simple. They don't have to cost money. I am not talking about going out and buying presents like jewelry or roses. There are so many small things you can do which only require thought and everyone knows putting thought into something means so much more than buying something.

I love My Michael. Last night he sat down on the couch with me and painted my toenails. It made me feel so special and loved. It was a sweet and simple way of saying 'Hey! I love you!' What could be better than that?

He did a fantastic job too!!!

Remember, things done for someone with nothing more than your time and thought mean more to someone than anything else in the world. :)

Michael and I always try to do these types of things for each other. The countless love letters and Poetry we have written to each other speaks volumes. The millions of 'I Love You's' scribbled on a piece of paper and slipped to each other when they weren't expecting it could wallpaper a room. Once I even made him a word find filled with words representing the both of us. And how much did any of this cost??? NOTHING except time and energy :)

And one more thought, never forget to smile.....

Love is fantastic so never take it for granted! Always do the simple things and that love will last a lifetime and beyond....

The Blog World....

Lately, I have been doing quite abit of observing of the people around me. Not that I don't normally do that but it just seems as though I have noticed more and more and more. Know what I mean?

The blog world! Now maybe I am going to end up getting a few haters with these comments but I am willing to risk it to be quite honest with you. The internet is truly a great thing. It allows you to express yourself in ways you probably would never do except with some of your closest friends. I love being able to write my thoughts and feelings. Being able to vent when needed is a plus too. But here is what I don't get about blogging. How come there are people who actually think they 'KNOW' you from reading your blog??? Does anyone know what I mean?

There are actually people out there who consider you their 'best friend' when in fact they really don't have a clue as to who you are. Yes they may share your views on many things and enjoy reading the thoughts spilling forth from your brain but does that mean they know you? No it doesn't. I have encountered this a few times with this whole blogging thing. I have actually had people send me emails saying they are upset because I haven't been to their blogs and commented on their posts. And they assume because I haven't been around that something is wrong!!! Can't they assume that something might actually be right??? Can't they assume that I might actually be happy??? Can they not realize that I actually have a life outside of the blog world? And who cares anyway??? I mean if you are truly friends with someone, you share a life with them outside of blogging whether it be personal emails or phone calls or even seeing them on occasion right???

In a way it is sad. It tells me these particular people are unsatisfied with their lives outside of the "blogging" world. I will admit, when I first started blogging I was lonely as hell but I did not use my blog as a cure. I merely used it as an outlet. I didn't rely on my blog to heal what ailed me but a tool for my expressions and thoughts. It was my journal. It allowed me to vent in a different medium than I had before and it felt good but it was not my everything. It was not my world.

Now the internet has brought good things to my life. In fact, I met Michael from blogging. But it started off slowly. We didn't leave each other posts and automatically assume we were made for each other. It was a very slow process. In fact, it took 5 months before we actually even spoke to each other over a telephone and that was only after blogging, then emails and then instant messaging. But I chose that just as he did. WE chose that. It wasn't one sided. It wasn't one of us assuming the other felt the same. Does that make sense at all??? Yes Michael is my best friend. Yes he is my lover and yes we are meant for each other but we found that out along the way and not just with a comment or two.

I have a few actual friends who read my blog but these friends who I either hang out with in my "real life" or communicate with either by email or phone. NV has been my best friend since I was 21. I know her and she knows me. She doesn't get upset when I don't make comments on her blog and doesn't assume my world is in chaos (even though it usually is...**snicker**) when I don't leave her comments. I love her blog but I love talking to her even more. I love spending my time with her more than that.....

I will admit, there are some people whose blogs I read that I would love to meet one day. I wouldn't mind getting to know them outside the blog world but I would never assume they feel the same as I do.

I guess my point to this whole post is simply to tell people to relax. Take a breath. Enjoy the blogs for what they are and that is simply an outlet. A medium. Don't assume you know someone inside and out because of what you read. And don't assume someone is your 'friend' because you exchange comments on a blog. And don't ever forget that what I share with you in a blog post is everything you need to know about me. I am selective in what I share. I have secrets as we all do but that doesn't mean that because we are 'blog friends' I will let you in on my entire world. I will let you in if I choose to just as I hope you would too. It's a choice....

Remember the internet allows you to be anything you want. You can be yourself or you can be someone else and sometimes, it is hard to distinguish the difference between the two. Just because you may share someone's opinions, values or comments doesn't mean you have found your best friend or soulmate....Always keep that in mind....

FRIENDSHIP IS A PRICELESS GIFT

THAT CANNOT BE BOUGHT OR SOLD

BUT ITS VALUE IS FAR GREATER

THAN THE MOUNTAIN MADE OF GOLD

FOR GOLD IS COLD & LIFELESS

IT CAN NEITHER SEE NOR HEAR

& IN THE TIME OF TROUBLE

IT IS POWER LESS 2 CHEER--

IT HAS NO EARS 2 LISTEN

NOR HEART 2 UNDERSTAND

IT CANNOT BRING YOU COMFORT

OR REACH OUT A HELPING HAND

SO WHEN U ASK GOD FOR A GIFT

BE THANKFUL IF HE SENDS

NOT DIAMONDS, PEARLS OR RICHES

BUT THE LOVE OF REAL TRUE FRIENDS

Sordid Tales of a Bill Collector

As strange as it is to say, I am a Bill Collector.... and I am good at it!

I began my crazy career as a collector some 18 years ago (good Lord if that doesn't give away my age!). I started down this interesting path by mistake. I was working at a temp agency and got sent to a rather large company (who shall remain nameless but it rhymes with Shittybank) thus falling head first into the entertaining and cruel world of the debt collector.

It may seem strange to those of you who read my blog and see me in a completely different light, but there is a side of me that is fairly aggressive and it's that part that allows me to come to life, so-to-speak, on the other end of the phone with someone who cannot pay their bills.

Now I am not one of those who insists on badgering and intimidating the caller on the other end of the line. I just don't see the point in it all if you really want to know. Especially considering the majority of the people I talk to really want to pay their bills but they just don't have the money. Hey, life happens and so many times it means we suffer financial woes so why treat someone like shit when they just don't have the money.

Yes, for the most part I am a very nice and fairly compassionate bill collector.

I know.... I know.... It sounds strange but never-the-less, it's very true.

But even I have my moments. Yep, those times when the person on the other end of the line, well to put it bluntly, is a complete fucking asshole. I wish I had a nicer word for it but why sugar coat the facts???

I have been called every single name in the book and that doesn't phase me in the slightest. Hell, there are even times when I start laughing. Can't help it! It's either laugh or get pissed and I think the first of the two is a much better way to deal with it all.

Well there are also those times when what you are hearing on the other end of the line sends twinges of disbelief all through you. You have to sit back a second and actually ask yourself if you are really hearing what you think you are hearing.

**WARNING!!! What you are about to read contains foul language and strong sexual content. If this content bothers you, I suggest you stop reading now for I cannot be held liable for injuring your virgin ears***

For example.... Take Betty for instance. She has an account that is severely late. So late its getting to the point where the lender is simply going to pursue her for nothing short of the balance on the account. Well, we call Betty and here is the conversation...



***Disclaimer... the names have been changed to protect the innocent but the story in which you are about to read is true.***

ME: Hello, may I speak with Betty Please?

MAN ON PHONE: Who the fuck is this?

ME: My name is Kristine and I'm calling from ******. Is Betty there?

MAN ON PHONE: Fuck you Bitch! You aren't talking to my wife!

ME: Sir, this really isn't necessary, I was merely calling to speak with your wife about a personal business matter. I am calling on the ******** account.

MAN ON PHONE: Bitch! She has personal business alright and that is sucking on my balls!

***Now mind you, I normally wouldn't listen to this stuff because its a huge waste of time, however, this man was so completely crazy I had to see where it would go. Does this make me a little sick a twisted? Possibly but hey, I have to get my entertainment whenever I can at work. So what do I do? I play into it! SICK PUPPY I AM!***

ME: Sir, I really don't understand where you are going with all of this. I really need to talk to Betty. Is she there?

***I pause a second and hear nothing so I proceed***

ME: Federal law requires me to inform you that this is an attempt to collect the debt and any information I obtain will be used for that purpose. This call may be monitored or recorded for quality assurance and training purposes.

MAN ON PHONE: Go ahead and record me Bitch cuz I don't give a fuck!

ME: Sir, can I talk to Betty or do you want to talk about the account?

MAN ON PHONE: If you want to talk to Betty you will have to come over here and pry her mouth off my big black cock! Ain't that right bitch! Huh???

***Right now my hand is on the mute button and I am telling the manager I sit next to and the girl on the other side to listen to the conversation. They jump up excitedly and come over to my desk.***

ME: So are you unwilling to discuss your account with us?

MAN ON PHONE: Balls Bitch! You know you like em' don't ya? And that is the only thing you are gettin' outta me! You heard me Bitch! You get my balls to pay your fucking bill with!

***snickering with my friend and manager. We can tell by the slurred words he has to be slightly drunk, wait... really drunk.***

FELLOW COLLECTOR BESIDE ME LISTENING: This dude be off da chain! DAMN!!! This mutha fucka is Off Da Hook!!! **snickering loudly**

MY MANAGER: Keep him on the line for a few minutes so we can get him on tape.

MAN ON PHONE: Balls! Suck My Balls Bitch! Suck My Balls Bitch!

***The crazy idiot goes into a song of "Suck my balls bitch" for a good 2 minutes. It didn't get old either. Between the words, which he sang so eloquently mind you, he managed to throw in a few "oh's" along with some humming. I am telling you, the man should be nominated for a Grammy! After that 2 minutes, the phone fell silent. It was my chance!***

ME: Are you done because you owe me $2382.64 and I need to know when you are going to pay this bill?

MAN ON PHONE: I already told you how I was gonna pay Bitch!

ME: Okay sir! We are getting no where so I am going to hang up now and we will call you again tomorrow.

MAN ON PHONE: Fuck you bitch! Call me later today!

***With that I hung up the phone***

Now this is not the normal person I talk to. In fact, they are few and far between, but when you get one on the phone, you have to take a moment and listen. Talking to people like this give an amazing insight into the lives of the people in the world around me.

Listening to the twisted, disgusting and disturbed of this planet make me realize I am not so crazy. **breathing a sigh of relief and wiping a bead of sweat from my forehead.**

The sad thing is I only wish my little tale were an exaggeration but they aren't. Okay, I lied about the wishing they were an exaggeration. I have to admit, I do love listening to this stuff. If only I could get my hands on the recordings. You see, he hasn't just talked to me this way. He does it to every single female he gets on his phone. I scrolled back through all of the notes to see comments like, "Male has a filthy mouth!" and "Man said very rude and dirty things to me!"

Ahhh what a world!

Now will I ever get money out of this guy? Oh Hell No!!! It wouldn't happen! Not in a million years. But the ride we as collectors will take to try and get this guy to pay will be an intense and more than interesting one.

School..... Not Like It Use To Be...

School has changed since I was there...

UNION CITY, N.J. (AP) - School district officials are trying to identify who watched $250 worth of pay-per-view pornographic movies using a school cable television box, officials said.

Someone after business hours used one of the five cable boxes in the Board of Education building to order the films, priced between $4.95 and $9.95.

The cable provider, Cablevision, has refunded the school district the money, and is helping to investigate the purchases.

School officials have since gotten rid of three of the cable boxes. A board official said the building had cable in case there was an emergency.

My guess is the janitor or janitors were tired of sweeping and mopping the floors. Nothing adds a little spice to your place of employment like watching blow jobs and hot sex free of charge! Maybe today I will go to work and surf internet porn. Wonder how long I will have a job??? I bet they had the following bumper stickers on their car too....




Okay I have to admit, this whole thing makes me laugh a little bit. I can't help it. The world around me never ceases to amaze.....

Now what is my mood for the day????

QUIRKY!!!

Just a Really Incredibly Fun Day

It's been awhile since we have gone out, with no plan of doing anything at all and had a really good time.

So around 3:30 yesterday I had planned on going grocery shopping at a couple of different stores and that was it. Well in turn we ended up driving all over town with the camera snapping pictures and we had a wonderful time.

My son tried to get out of going with us, but Michael and I drug him along.... and much to his surprise, he had a ton of fun. The only thing everyone needs to know about Michael is simply this, no matter what he is doing he makes sure it is the best time he could ever possibly have. He lives by the rule that life is too short to not make the most of everything you do. Always laugh and always smile.... And now that my son and myself are seeing this everyday, its nice to just let go of all of the rules and have a good time.

The best thing about driving around with no plan and a camera is you really see some incredible things.

The first place we went to was the Chinatown Food Market by the City Market area of downtown.



I love going to this place. You see the craziest and coolest items. Not to mention that everything is fairly cheaply priced for the amount you get. I ended up buying some crawfish which ended up with us having a huge crawfish boil last night. Talk about some damn good food. I love food that lets you get messy so this was perfect... I also ended up buying some LoMein Noodles and meat filled Dumplings... Damn I love this food....

However, its just fun walking around and looking at all of the imported items and then heading to the back of the store where they have the live seafood. My son couldn't decide whether to be really grossed out by everything he saw or just be in complete awe... It was hilarious...





After leaving there we drove around for awhile. We saw everything from graffiti and murals on buildings to a Ferrari that my son is convinced shall one day be his.



We ended up down at Crown Center and Union Station. My son had not been there in years so we went everywhere. First it was into the Crayola Store where we played with some colors and made some pictures....





We ended up in everything from stores with nothing but model trains, to toy stores and candy stores.



Then we left and wandered through the sky walk tunnels. My son was in a world of his own and I loved it. He has been stuck in a world that is filled with a computer, a telephone and tons of girls calling my house. This was good for him... He got out and saw the world and loved it...







Did I mention that Michael likes to pick up on hot chicks in my presence???

***SNICKERING***
Pickin' up on Cardboard Chicks....

Now back to the post at hand....

Opening your eyes and looking at the world around you is a good thing. It can make you appreciate what you have and give you a yearning for the things you don't have. It can make you realize how good you have it and how lucky you are to have the people in your life that you do have. It makes you thankful to simply wake up each and every day and just breathe....

We had a truly great time yesterday and these pictures here are only a sampling of it all. My life is a good one. Yes its filled with chaos and craziness from time to time, but hey... I smile, I laugh and I love..... It's all good :)

A Pity Party You Say???

Okay I am having one of those days and I hate it. Actually I should not even say its one of those days because my day has not been bad in the slightest....but all of a sudden, well within the last hour, I feel invisible.

I can't explain it. I know its just me but that's the way I feel.

I feel boring...

I feel unimportant...

I feel like I am no fun what-so-ever...

I feel like I could just walk out the door and no one would even fucking notice.....

I feel like a wallflower...

It's funny because I know its only me because no one else is making me feel this way but I still cannot help myself.

But what makes it even worse is the thought of asking anyone to make me feel better because I feel like its something I should be doing on my own. I mean who am I? What makes me so special that I should feel the need to find someone to make me feel better about myself? I know I need to drag myself out of this hole but right now I am not succeeding.

No one makes me feel this way but for whatever reason I just do.

And when I even begin to think that I want to try and talk about it I feel like I am about to cry.

Now don't anyone go and think that Blu isn't doing his part because he is. He always does. Whenever he thinks there is something wrong with me he lets me know because he pays attention...

But tonight I just cannot communicate for whatever reason. I can't spit the words out because they just won't come. It's like they are lodged in the back of my throat and no matter how hard I try they just won't budge. And then whatever I say comes out wrong and is taken the wrong way so then I feel like I should just shut the fuck up... Because I don't want to bring anyone down...

Does anyone else ever feel like this or is it just me???

I think I am just over hormonal... I blame myself and no one else... Sorry guys I know that word hormonal just eats at you but its the truth. I think most of us women are like this sometimes.

I am apparently having my own little pity party but I forgot to send out invitations...

I am playing the worlds smallest violin without an audience to enjoy it with me... Not that anyone would even enjoy the songs I would be playing but whatever right???

So forgive me everyone.. I needed to vent... How sad is this? I vented and it meant nothing.

Do I feel better? Hell no.. I still feel like running down the street screaming my head off and tearing out my hair...

I guess it just sucks. Here it is Saturday night and I feel like doing anything other than what I am doing right now. I hate sitting in this house. I wouldn't care if I were just outside staring at the sky... it would be better than this but then again... its fucking cold so I would bitch about that... So go figure..

I need a night out..

I need to get away badly...

Is that bad?

Is it selfish??

Is it wrong???

Probably...

By the way.. My head is pounding...

Changes...

When I sit back and think about how everything has changed over the past 12 months it almost makes my head spin. I mean literally spin!

If you would have asked me 12 months ago what my life would be like right now, I would not have had any idea to even tell you it would be what it is today.

So many changes...

Some Good...

Some Bad...

But considering they make me who I am today, whether they were good or bad doesn't really matter does it?

Yesterday yet another change presented itself to me. Its a good change too.

I have been sick off and on since October. I have had surgery and been put on medicine that has done a number on me and due to all of this, I was on the verge of losing my job. The thought of that even happening was scary for me because I have never been fired from anywhere for any reason. In fact, I always prided myself on being a hard worker. One who went above and beyond what most others would because, well I just wanted to. It made me feel good to feel like I was making a difference somewhere. Does that make sense???

Well this week I became sick again. I ended up with a massive infection and honestly, its really taken its toll on me. I feel weak and I hate feeling weak. I am tired and have no energy. I don't like that.

Yesterday morning I called in for the 2nd day in a row and was rewarded with phone calls back to my home by a co-worker who was less than nice. And what made it worse is that all of this occurred before I was even scheduled to be at work. I don't need to be berated as if I were a 10 year old child and then hung up on. Its unprofessional and it speaks volumes at the same time. I was treated as if I had just decided to take a few days off and claim to be sick while I was out having some terrific time. If only that were the case.

So I sat back yesterday morning and began to evaluate it all and came to the conclusion I was much better than the way I was being treated. I started looking all over the internet for a different job. I was applying everywhere and anywhere. Anything would have been fine.

Suddenly one popped up and I was given the option to either apply online or call in. So I called in and talked to the girl. As crazy as it sounds, I was pretty much offered the job over the phone. Not only will it be steady hours with the potential for much overtime, but it also pays more. A great deal more. There is so much room to advance and that is what I love the most.

Yesterday afternoon I went out for a quick interview (which I was even late for by 20 minutes...go figure...road construction and wrong directions!) but I was offered the job on the spot and told to come in for an orientation today which I will be leaving for in about 45 minutes. I am going to start the new job on Monday.

I am more than excited!

I got up this morning and went into work and quit my job. Usually I am one for giving notice and doing things the right way but I couldn't let this opportunity slip out of my reach. Its too good...

General Lee acted just as I pretty much expected him too. He really didn't care even though he said he was sad to see me go because he thinks I am an asset to his company. He sure has a funny way of showing it but whatever. I laid it all out on the table as to why I was quitting and all he could do was interrupt me. I finally asked him if I could just speak for a second but that was so hard for him. He kept going "uh-huh" while shaking his weaselly little head with his chipmunk teeth and glaring at me with his beady little eyes.

I was surprised that some of the people who I thought would be jerks about me quitting were actually pretty good about it. I was told I would be missed and wished the best of luck....

It felt good...

I felt empowered...

I will miss my sister though. She and I have become so close working together but she also knows what an incredible opportunity this is for me.

I am thankful for the job I had but only because of what it brought me in terms of a relationship with my sister. She is truly a great person... I love her dearly...

But now its off to much better surroundings...

Life is good...

I am happy...

Blu Has Issues... Big Ones...

HA!!! It was my turn!!! :)

Just for the record everyone.. I have decided to quit posting all of the mushy stuff about Blu and I on this blog.. So what did I do? I created a new blog to post nothing but that. So if you really care about reading the mushy stuff, click HERE!!! But just remember that doesn't mean I won't rip on him here because I WILL!!! Because I can and there is nothing he can do about it!

Why Do They Grow Up So Damn Fast...

Maybe its because I hate watching my son grow up so fast..

Maybe its because I don't want to know what is going on in his 13 year old mind..

I don't know...

But tonight I have heard more about self-discovery than I really want to know about...

FUCK...

Why does my son take 30 minute showers??

Why does he spend all of his time talking to girls on the phone???

Why is he obsessed with boobies???

YIKES....

I feel like I am going crazy here..

So what happened?

I am sitting here trying to read a few blogs and do some commenting but its a little hard when I have Blu talking about my son doing a little "getting to know himself". I'm sorry.. I know its truly a natural thing but being his mother I just don't want to hear about it. I am not naive. I know he is probably loving himself in more ways than one but I really don't want to know about it. I don't want to hear about it and I don't want to think about it.

Is that wrong?

NO!!!

I am thankful, however, he has someone in his life he can go to and talk about this stuff with. That alone is very comforting... especially knowing this kind of subject is something he would never in a million years come to me with and even if he did, I don't know how in the world I would even begin to help him with it. Its no secret, boys are different than girls so giving him a girls perspective on things would be of no help at all what-so-ever. So Thank GOD for Michael because without him my son would probably be a complete and total mess... And I mean mess literally here.. GROSSSSSSSS... BLECHHHHHH... **giggles**

Damn life is so crazy and simple at the same time.. Interesting and complex... **sigh**

Tag! I am it! **Blimey**

Well well, it appears I have been tagged by The Lone Beader! **sigh**

I am supposed to name 6 weird things about myself. Now this one is going to make me think abit.

1. I cannot eat certain kinds of candy unless I consume them in a color pleasing order. For example, if I had a bag of M & M's I would eat the colors I hated the most first and the one I enjoy the most last. So bye bye Brown, Orange and Yellow... they gotta go. Last would be the Red's and Blues :) Yes I realize they all taste the same... its a mental thing damn it...

2. I have to check my alarm at least 3 times before I go to bed at night just to make sure I set it. And then if I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom or something, I am checking it again. Okay its a little Obsessive Compulsive but its okay.

3. I have webbed toes. Yep I sure do. On each of my feet the two toes next to my big toe are connected together. I am no Donald Duck but I am a pretty good swimmer. When I wear sandals in the summer everyone comments on my feet. Cannot really wear a toe ring which bothers me but I like me toes... me thinks em' cute :)



4. When I have a song stuck in my head, I will literally listen to it a hundred times in a row just to rid myself of it. And watch out if its a song I happen to love. I could listen to it for days on repeat and never grow tired of it.

5. When I eat I cannot have my food touching on my plate. I see people who mix up their food and it gives me the creeps. You know like mashed potatoes and corn... blechhhhhh... Now if someone makes something like a casserole where everything is cooked together, I can eat that.

6. When I sleep I can have no parts of my own skin touching. Therefore I sleep with a body pillow between my legs so they don't touch. My arms are placed just right so they don't touch either. And my hair cannot be touching the back of my neck or my face so I pull it up over the back of my pillow. Don't ask me why because I don't know why. It is just one of my quirks.

Now I get to tag a few people and I like that....

How about Blu, NV, Bardouble29, Sirdar and RockDog.

I am 31% Asshole/Bitch.

I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me.

Take the
Asshole/Bitch Test
@ FualiDotCom

Ass... Nasty Stank Ass...

I am sure as some of you may recall, I have recently been subjected to working with the OLD GEEZER in the service center at my place of employment.

As mush as I would like to report that things have gotten better.....Alas, it has not.

**sigh**

But whatever, I have pretty much resigned myself to the fact its not going to change and I am finding a way to deal with it all.

However, today took a bit of a different track than what I am use to out of that old man.

I am down in the tinting area mixing up paint when I kept being overcome with the most disgusting scent of what can only be described as raw sewage.

Unfortunately, every single time my nasal passages were engulfed with this putrid smell I noticed the Old Geezer was standing right next to me.

Holy shit!!! An Epiphany!!! It didn't take long to put 2 and 2 together to realize the originating source of this foul stench was straight out of the Old Geezer's Ass...

Why!!?? Why God!!??? Why Me??? Why hast thou forsaken me???

It didn't matter where I went that old man followed me around squeaking out rancid silent but deadlies...

My skin crawled...

My stomach turned...

My nose hairs were seared off...

It didn't stop! But what made it worse was knowing all of the guys in the warehouse were aware of my plight and laughed like they have never seen anything so fucking funny in their lives.

Songs were sung just for me...

"What's that she smells?
Somethin' straight out of old man hell!
Will she live or will she die
This is so funny we could fucking cry!"

Oh and I don't know how many of you are familiar with 'The Rock' from wrestling but if I had to hear an imitation of him one more time I was going to go postal on someone... "Can you SMELLLLLLLLLL what the Old Geezer is cooookin'!!!"

Rat Bastards... I will get even with all of you for this... That's right... Laugh at my hell will you? You shall all pay...

After dealing with this madness for a good hour the old man looked me straight in the eye and says "You know Krissy (yes that is what he calls me and it irritates the shit outta me) I went home last night and made a huge pot of ham and bean soup and I just don't think its sitting right with me today. So I think I am going to leave here for a while that way if I have to pass gas you won't have to deal with it."

And with that geezer walked off leaving me in a cloud of toxic waste with my jaw resting on the floor of that dirty warehouse.

I see how it is. You stink up the joint, almost killing me in the process then admit to having some serious anal issues and leave. Yeah like you didn't know you were funkin' up the place to begin with...

You know at work I am the head of the safety committee and I am issuing an immediate statement as to the health hazards surrounding old man flatulence. Not that is necessarily bad to breathe that shit in even though any rodent within a 5 mile radius probably died, but because I am seriously going to kick the shit out of that old man if that happens again. Now that's a safety issue for ya!

The following signs will also be placed up all over the facility...

Memories..

While digging through somethings in my basement, I ran across my old diary. I cannot even tell you how long it has been since I have laid my eyes upon it.

This morning I pulled it out and just read.

So many memories I had forgotten about.

Some good.

Some bad.

Much of the written words were filled with a heartache that even brought a tear to my eye today.

I know I tend to write about all of the funny and crazy things I did while growing up but I never share any of the bad. I think its because its easier to block out the bad and pretend none of it existed even though I realize both the good and the bad made me who I am today. Does that make any sense at all?

One of the things I found in here were some of my poetry. I knew some of it was there but there were even a few I had forgotten about.

I Wish...

I wish I were a butterfly
Floating
Aimless and free
Radiating beauty near and far

I wish I were a bird
Flying
Stealthy and quick
Illuminated by the bright sunlight

I wish I were a black panther
Hunting
Strong and fierce
Doing what I need to survive

I wish I could make myself see
I am…
The Butterfly
The Bird
The Black Panther
All encompassed into one



Caged..

Don’t ever let me go
Don’t ever let me fall
Deep within I am scared
Trying to break down this wall

It won’t budge
I’m locked, caged inside
Screaming to get out
No longer wanting to hide

Please help me
Please bring me the key
Open up the gate
This pain I have to flee

Give me your love
Lend me your heart
I need you so bad
Don’t let me fall apart

Blessed or Cursed...

Am I blessed or am I cursed? Its a question I have battled with myself for quite sometime. I could pretty much go either way on the answer in all honesty but I figured after talking about this crap at work today, why not come home and ask all of my blog readers this one...

Over the years, there is one thing I have noticed about men. And I don't mean any disrespect to you men out there but you all have a complete fetish with a woman's body. Specifically, I am talking about boobies, cha-cha's, fun bags, the twins, lunch, dirty pillows, food-catchers, hooters, massive melons, love humps and whatever else you men love to call them.

I will not lie, I have a fairly nice pair :) Well at least that's what I have been told anyway. And from watching how men tend to talk to me, which is look from my eyes then down to my chest then back to my eyes, I tend to agree with what I have been told.

But you men fail to see what we women must go through carrying these things around. It's not all that easy.

First of all, wearing a bra sucks! The over-the-shoulder boulder holder has got to be the most uncomfortable piece of clothing ever invented and who ever came up with the idea should be taking out and shot. However, I do know it was invented by a woman. What the hell was she thinking? She has got to be into some sort of self-torture. If she were alive today she would have been a member of Opus Dei and would have probably sat around flogging herself just for the fact she was a woman.

Secondly, if you happen to have big ones, they can make your back hurt like there is no tomorrow. And if you don't believe that, try strapping on a fake pair for a few days and see how much you like it! No joke!

Third, if you happen to be a woman who has no breasts at all, you can constantly be mistaken for a 10 year old boy. What fun is that? Then you have to buy bras with padding and be all fake and stuff or subject yourself to surgery just so you have a pair. No fun in that..

Fourth, like I said above, men tend to forget you have a face and focus on your chest. You just wanna look at them and say, "Hello, my eyes are up here and not down there jackass..."

Now there are definitely some good things about having a chest that is fairly well-endowed. It really isn't completely horrible all of the time.... I can't lie and I won't....

Men tend to really pay attention to a woman with a nice set of boobies. You get doors opened up for you pretty much no matter where you go. Sometimes, it can get you free stuff. Anything from a cup of coffee to money. I, myself, have never gotten money but I am just speaking on behalf of friends I know who have gotten such things. The coffee, yeah.... I have gotten it lots of times.

The draw back is that there are many women who forget that it takes more than an excellent set up ta-ta's to keep a man interested. Yeah sure he will love to play with them for awhile but the minute he is done with them and he can't carry on a conversation with you, the fun is all over.

Too many women think they can just run out and get bigger boobies and get the man of their dreams. Its a sad reality. If they only realized from the beginning that having the personality of a wet mop doesn't go well with big big boobies. Nope....they don't go hand in hand at all.

I would like to know from the male point of view here. What is it about a woman with boobs that you love so much? Is is merely because you don't have them or what? Is it boobie Envy? Shit, if you did have them would you even leave your house??? **snicker** I mean I don't have a penis and when I talk to a man I don't sit staring at their crotches when I do it so what gives? And I don't want a penis so I definitely don't suffer from penis envy. Come on boys... help me out here!!! (Besides I don't know how in the hell you walk around with those things anyway..)

This was a debate at work today. And the only guy chiming in with any sort of opinion is a 40 year old virgin (yes he is seriously 40 and a virgin.. no lie) so I figure his opinion really didn't matter all that much...

All right guys.. spill it... I want some truth here...

Mind Games

Ahhhh!!! Just another day paradise!!! Okay so I am being a little sarcastic but it helps me feel a little bit better so whatever.

Why are there people in the world who prey on the weak? I know it makes them feel superior and gives them that sense of control and power but if it is something they would not want done to themselves then why would they do it to anyone else? Makes not one bit of sense to me and it never will. I guess because I am one of those people who loves to help and not hinder. I don't have issues with my self-esteem like someone who is a nothing more than a virus in my life. All I need to do is find the perfect vaccine and irradicate him but until then I just have to try and stay positive and take each day as it comes.

I admit, its hard but considering I am surrounded by many good people who really and truly care about me and my son, I know I can do this.

I guess I just needed to vent a bit. I am really very tired of dealing with so much crap lately. Honestly, I have spent the last 11 years of my life trying to decipher between bullshit and truth. And you know what? I don't do that anymore. I just automatically assume that its all lies because I have no reason to believe anything else. Right??? Yeah I pretty much thought so....

I guess I am just having a really hard time understanding how someone could lie to me about every single thing they ever did. I kept asking myself why me? What did I do? But when I started thinking more and more about it, I came to the realization that this person is truly sick in the mind and will always be that way until they decide to face reality and get some help. I refuse to hold my breath because the minute I do, I will die. And I cannot let that happen because I have so many positive things in my life. My son, Michael, my family and my friends. They are all worth so much to me and I will never allow anyone come between that ever again. I am happy so why sacrifice that happiness????