Michael Update

I wanted to give everyone an update on Michael and also thank you for all of the support. Your comments were wonderful so again, Thank YOU!!!

Yesterday Michael woke up feeling nauseated again and when he did a check on his blood sugar it was well over 600! And the only reason we know this is due to the fact his meter did not actually register a number. It simply said 'Hi'. That is never a good thing for those of you unfamiliar with how Diabetes seems to attack its patients. He ended up taking some insulin and we headed to the Emergency Room. When they checked his blood sugar there, it actually read 683 which tells me that prior to him taking the insulin injection at home, his sugar was somewhere in the neighborhood of 800 if not higher.

If he had not taken his sugar when he did, Michael could have very well gone into a coma. It scared and him to death. But we got it down with even more insulin and plenty of fluids because he was dehydrated from being so sick.

Yesterday he was writhing in pain and it was so incredibly hard to watch. No drug was working at all until they finally gave him a good one last night. It finally enabled him to sleep somewhat which he had been lacking for well over 24 hours.

Today he is sooooooo much better!!!

I stayed with him most of the day and we just sat there watching movies and talking. You never really realize how much a true smile can mean until you see someone you have not seen do it in a while actually smiles. It warmed my heart and made me realize he was okay.

He is still in a little bit of pain but nothing compared to yesterday or the day before. He was finally himself and it was wonderful to see. He also ate for the 1st time since Friday. Solid food that is instead of warm broth and Jello. Finally, real food!

So I thought I would post a picture of him from his hospital bed today.



Since he is finally doing so much better, I think they will let him come home tomorrow! I have been crossing my fingers so much I have a cramp :) Can't wait! I miss him!

And because I feel like being mean I am going to show this video of what exactly good drugs do for a sick person. This Amazing Video will leave you Bewildered, Mesmerized and Stunned! If you would like to purchase this video, which is called Michael Gone Wild, for your personal collection, please send $9.95 to me as soon as possible!!!


Lately my son has been into taking pictures of himself since he has been doing all sorts of working out lately. I think he would turn into Popeye if he could just let a little spinach slip past his lips every once in a while!

Just gotta Vent a little...

Today I am drained. Today I am mentally and physically exhausted. Today I am.....

Have you ever had to just sit and silently deal with an illness while feeling completely helpless and useless?

This past week has been a little rough on my Michael and today is no exception. A few nights ago Michael became extremely sick for several hours. He got over it a day later but this morning he awoke with that same feeling of weakness and nausea. We had to work this morning so we got up, left and made the 40 minute trek. About 45 minutes after we got there he became incredibly sick and began vomiting again. This bout continued until just a few minutes ago. So we had another round of 4 hours of nothing but getting sick.

All I could do was sit back, watch, hold his hand, run my fingers through his hair and get him anything he needed.

I hate that.... I hate it SO much....

This morning was tough because every time he gets sick it scares me tremendously. Normally, I handle it really well. I take care of him and I do it because I love him dearly. But this morning, I broke down. I seriously broke down and cried.

It's hard watching him go through this knowing there is nothing that I can do to magically make it go away or even take it on myself so he doesn't have to deal with it anymore. Of course he would tell you himself he would never wish this disease upon even his worst enemy, but I would still take away his pain if I could. His poor body has been raked over the coals for years and in all honesty, its truly taking its toll. Don't get me wrong, Michael is in very good shape for someone living with Type 1 Diabetes Mellitus. But this disease has really done a number on him.

Diabetic Neuropathy.... Nerve Damage.... I think this is the worst part of the disease. Just from watching Michael over the last few months I truly believe this is what makes his condition so unbearable. Diabetes causes severe complications with the nerve receptors in the body making it difficult to cope with everyday things whether it be loud noises, having too many people around or just being able to sense if his blood sugar levels are too high or too low.

You see, when he gets sick....HE REALLY GETS SICK!!! The vomiting is almost always very violent and uncontrollable for several hours and this morning was no exception. I can deal with watching him get sick and cleaning up after it all but what got to me this morning was simply wondering why this has to happen to him.

It's unfair. It's so completely unfair. He is such a wonderful man and he doesn't deserve this. I know, no one does but I guess when it hits so close to home that Diabetes becomes something so much more than just a word or an illness. It's very real and it's very scary. It's debilitating. It's life changing. It's inconvenient. It's terminal. To be very blunt, it's a slow painful death. And that is something he will tell you himself.

I want to make it very well known that Michael is truly the strongest person I have ever known, not only physically but mentally as well. And when I see him get sick it kills me inside as it does him. Michael does not ever like to feel or appear weak because that is not who he is but this fucking disease drains him. It exhausts him. It takes from him and that is what hurts the most.

I hate this disease but at the same time, it is a part of him. It makes him who he is and that is just a spectacular human being who looks at life as we all should. All Michael wants out of his life is happiness and love and nothing more. As long as he wakes every day and takes a breath he knows he has accomplished something monumental and that is being able to live.

Michael is my hero and my personal guardian angel. I have never loved anyone as much as I love him and I never will. How we ever came sweeping into each others lives I will never know and honestly I don't care. It happened and that is all that matters. We love each other and we are happy. That is what life is all about.

My love for you is a journey;
Starting at forever,
And ending at never.
~ by Anonymous ~

I realize this is long winded but today I just needed to vent. I needed to just get it all out because this disease of his takes it toll on all of us and if I kept it all in he would kick me for it. He always says that if you need to vent then do it because keeping it in does no one any good at all. He is right. He is so right.

Voyeur.... Via the Flickering Light Box

voy·eur - (voi-yûr') - n.

1. A person who derives sexual gratification from observing the naked bodies or sexual acts of others, especially from a secret vantage point.
2. An obsessive observer of sordid or sensational subjects.

I am a voyeur. Yes, I have said it. Yes, I can admit it. I am a Voyeur.

Now with the admittance that I am indeed a Voyeur, I must make sure to emphasize that I am an Obsessive Observer of sordid or sensational subjects and not one who derives sexual gratification from basically being a peeping-tom.

To sum it up, I like to observe people around me at all times. I can be driving in my car and if I pass someone or they pass me, I will take a look at them. Sometimes in stores, I will just stop for a moment and take a look at someone ahead of me.

But my big thing is reality TV. How sad is that? Yet again this year, I am been suckered in by the show 'Big Brother' but this year it is a little more involved. You see Showtime has apparently teamed up with CBS and for 3 hours each and every night you get to watch the house guests live and uncut. And I CAN'T STAY AWAY!!!

I wish I could explain why but I can't other than to say watching how certain personalities attempt to mesh inside the house is sheer entertainment. I take bets with myself as to who is going to lose their mind first. I yell at certain contestants on the show as if they can somehow silently hear my warning to take heed. It truly is sad...

It makes me wonder what I would do if trapped inside a place like that. Could I actually live in a house with a ton of people I have never met for 3 months? Could I stay there and remain sane knowing I will have absolutely no contact with the outside world? No TV. No Radio. No Newspaper. No Phone Calls. No Internet. Not to mention NO PRIVACY!!! There are hundreds of camera's in that house. Even in the bathroom and the shower. And I forgot to mention the microphones. Every single conversation is recorded and heard.

Could I Do It???

Probably not. And I say that because I would absolutely could not go without having my privacy. I could probably deal with living with a ton of strangers for 3 months, especially knowing there is the prospect of receiving $500,000. But the lack of alone time would get me.

Whenever I am upset about something or I don't feel good, I simply want to be left alone. Don't touch me. Don't screw with me. Just leave me the fuck alone until I am ready to become social again.

And it is for those reasons that I am drawn to this show. I want to know will they react to something the way I would? Will they fight or surrender? Will they break down and cry or throw the biggest temper-tantrum you have ever seen?

The idea of watching people is an old one. Everyone, for the most part, wants to observe the actions of others. We can't help ourselves. Does this make us bad? No. Actually, my personal opinion is quite the contrary. In some ways its even a good thing. When we observe the negative behavior of others it tends to make us think of ourselves and how we would handle ourselves in similar situations. We get to see how everyone deals with their negativity and decide if we want to ever be looked at in the same light. Definitely not a bad thing right???

The only thing that makes it bad is simply this. Sometimes, it takes observing the bad to realize that we shouldn't do something.

I guess this brings up morality. And all I want to say about morality is this. Everyone has a set of morals. No one's is the same. We will never entirely agree with the things people around us do but that is what makes us unique. We have that right. If you don't like something you see, then turn away because that does not mean everyone else shares your opinion and just because you do not like something does not give you the right to make that person stop whatever it is they are doing just to make you happy.

Remember, morality means to conform to a specific set of rules of conduct that are considered right and just by the majority. UGH..........

You see how all of this comes together????

I thought so.....

So now that I have gone on a tangent that I truly did not expect to do, let me say this again.

I am a Voyeur and I like it.... I have morals and scruples too but I am a Voyeur via the Flickering Light Box aka.... The Television...

I WANT..... And I LOVE.....

I was sitting around yesterday looking at my bedroom and it just looks so plain. You see since moving I really don't have much on my walls and believe it or not I use to really not care about that stuff. Maybe I should rephrase that a bit, I didn't care too much about items hanging on my bedroom walls but the rest of the house I always had things up.

Anyway, my bed is black metal and I love it sooooo much. It's dark and pretty all at the same time. Well my mother had bought me these 2 small wrought iron Candelabra's and I am going to hang them in the room but they are rather small so yesterday I started thinking about how wonderful the internet is and how I could probably find something I would really love to hang right over my bed...




So now I am in love.... OH My GOD!!! There are only 2 things I would do differently and that is there would be more black in these items and secondly, they would actually hold tealight candles instead of lights. Oh yeah, there is one more thing.. I would NOT make them $450!!!! YIKES!!! I guess I need to put my skills I actually learned from taking a year of shop class to work (yes I actually took shop class and even made things out of wrought iron.....I know...Surprising right???)

Now I do realize that by posting this stuff my total girly side is coming out. Wait! Or is it my age.... UGHHHHHH......

Anyway, Michael thinks he is now going to go broke from me wanting stuff like this... Geez, what a whiner! *snicker*

Regardless, those are fucking awesome :)

Now I was at BarDouble's Blog and she listed a few things she loves so I thought I would just take a second to list a few things I just love to pieces...

• Sitting near the ocean or lake at night when the moon is out and reflecting off the water.
• Walking in the rain with my face upwards smiling.
• The smell of clean clothes when they come out of the dryer.
• The sound of thunder crashing during a storm.
• Singing loudly to one of my favorite love songs while driving in my car.
• Being hugged up on the couch next to Michael while watching a movie.
• The way 600 thread count sheets feel when you first put them on the bed after coming out of the dryer. SOOOOO SOFT!
• The way Michael looks at me every single day.
• Drifting off in a good book.
  
• My son's laughter.
• The changing leaves during Autumn.
  
• MY Life :)

And what is it that you love...???

Happy 4th of July!!!

I wanted to wish everyone a very SAFE and HAPPY 4th of July!

I found this video on YouTube. This was voted the worst largest Pyrotechnics Display by Guinness Book of World Records in January of this year. Even though its from New Years, it is truly an incredible display.... Enjoy and have a Terrific Day!

A Long Winded Post

Okay so I am a complete slacker! Here I go and post my 5 questions and get a couple of you who want questions and what do I do? I go and disappear....again....! I know I completely suck! I have no good excuse other than the fact I am exhausted and the motivation to write just disappeared. Plus we have a million things going on.

Where to start??? Well today I am excited and nervous all at the same time. Michael's kids are coming into town today with his parents. This is the first time I will meet them and I am just a little bit nervous. Why? I really don't know because from everything I have ever been told they are pretty much little "Michael Clones". Here is a picture Michael posted on his blog last year of him and his son's so you can see exactly how much they look like their father.


My son is overly excited about them coming to stay for awhile. He likes the prospect of having 2 younger brothers. He has already made all of these plans for the 3 of them! We are going swimming and to Worlds of Fun and Here and There... It's incredibly cute! We are going to have alot of fun together so I can't wait for them to get here tonight.

Michael and I have been working like mad-dogs. He ended up basically kicking everyone all over the place at work as far as getting a bonus. How much he will actually end up with I don't know but the managers at work have dubbed him 'Money Mike'. It cracks me up :) As for me, well I got a bonus last month but no where even close this month. It happens..... Hopefully next month we will both take home the big bucks!

Tuesday night we went to Harrahs and gorged ourselves on All-You-Can-Eat Alaskan King Crab Legs. This has got to be one of the best foods in the world besides lobster. Then again, if it came out of the ocean I am pretty much game at eating it. So the 3 of us sat there in the restaurant for almost a good 2 hours doing nothing but eating. Afterwards, the 3 of us were so stuffed we could hardly walk and our stomachs hurt so much I thought I was seriously going to explode..... But what do you do when it's $22.00 per person to eat at this buffet??? That's right you stuff yourself exactly the way we did.

Last weekend I had such a good time! I got to watch my new nephew Paul. Michael and I had a blast sitting around with a 3 month old. It brought back so many memories....





Now I would like to say something to Varsity Jock. You know when I was going through my questions and answers I left out my blog buddy VJ! VJ... Can you forgive me? Huh? Do you wanna come to my little Island to hang out and party??? And I never did tag him either so I would like to take this moment to post a few questions for Mr. VJ so he can consider himself tagged and that way he will feel all warm and fuzzy and stuff inside :) **snicker** So here you go VJ.... HAVE FUN CUZ YOU ARE TAGGED!!!

1. You have been given a million dollars to throw an enormous party. Who would you invite? Where would it be? Would you have bands there and if so who?
   
2. Tell us all about your craziest Rugby story. I know how good you are now I want to know the craziest thing that has ever happened while you were playing.
3. I want to know about your dream vacation. Where would it be and what would you do while on it?
4. If you could be like any Celebrity in the world who would it be and why? And as a little bonus question, if you were allowed the opportunity to date any Celebrity who would it be and why?
5. If there was one thing about yourself that you could change what would it be and why?

Now I must move on to Aunt Jackie and Scarlett! I am sorry it took me so long to get your questions so I apologize! Because it took me so long, as a punishment for my neglect, you can come up with a few mind-benders for me if you would like. Here are your questions:

1. If you could have your choice of a dream job what would it be and why?
   
2. You are given 1 million dollars to plan a Bloggers get-together. Tell us where, when and what your party is all about.
3. You can choose bloggers to spend 6 months locked in a house with. Who would these people be? Why would you choose them and what kind of place would this house be?
4. Tell us the most scared you have ever been in your life and what scared you so badly.
5. If you could change one thing about your life what would it be and why?

So there you go.... Now I think I am actually out of little things to talk about. Sorry if I disappeared AGAIN.... Just know I may be scarce this week but its because we have alot going on this week but we will post some pics of all the fun later...

XOXOXO
Chalice