Who Is Behind The Mask???

When I was 15 I got my first job working at a fast food place with my best friend Jamie. I hated the job more than anything but I worked with some very "colorful" people so it made going in everyday after school worth it. Of course, being 15 and having a regular paycheck was a bonus too. Can't pass up the money :)

While I was there I began to date a guy that I worked with. Everyone says its pretty much a no-no to ever date anyone you work worth but sometimes we have to learn all of that the hard way right? I know I have one of those personalities where I want to be proven wrong not just told. Hell that little philosophy I lived by is what got me in all of the trouble I got in growing up.....but I never changed. I always insist I can be different than everyone else who has been in similar circumstances. Sometimes its to my benefit but other times I just end up screwing myself royally. **sigh**

Okay back to the guy I dated. He was not bad looking and seemed very very nice. We always managed to have a ton of fun when we worked together so it just seemed right. Besides we had mutual friends and always ended up at the same parties so knowing how well we got along it just seemed natural that we would end up dating.

We dated for several months until it just got to be a little bit too much for me. I began to see him as being slightly possessive of me a overbearing at the same time. What finally broke everything off was him starting to ask me what I was doing, where I was going, who I was talking too...etc... You get the picture. All the signs of something very very bad in the works.

When all of that began to happen, I broke it off.

That did not set well with him. He began to cause problems for me at work and was constantly following me around and harassing me. So much so it got the attention of my manager who found the whole thing very unnerving. He ended up firing him a couple of days later.

I was relieved when he was fired. I thought I would finally be able to move on and breathe without fear of being questioned about everything 24/7. I would be able to work in peace and go back to having fun with all of the people I worked with.

A good 3 weeks passed and I hadn't heard a peep out of the guy. No phone calls. No showing up at my job. No magically appearing at school. He just stopped. It was great.

What a beautiful 3 weeks.

One night while we were closing up the restaurant one of the guys I worked with was taking a bunch of trash out to the dumpster. It was about 11 on a Friday night so it was very dark outside therefore making it impossible for him to see anything other than what was in plain sight. Big deal right? Shit he had been taking the damn trash out there every single night for months so what would make this night any different right?

WRONG!!!

When he got there and was just about to throw the massive bag into the dumpster out jumps someone. He was dressed in a black ninja suit and began tossing those little Ninja Throwing Stars at the guy. And when I say he was wearing a Ninja Suit, I mean the full fucking suit.

All we heard from inside the restaurant were shrieks and screams. That sent everyone running outside to see what the hell was going on.

That is when we see the guy who took out the trash curled up on the ground in the fetal position with a freak in a costume standing over him. He was black from head to toe. Shit his face was even covered up partially just like you would see in some Bruce Lee movie. There really is no accurate way to describe the scenario that would do it any justice what so ever. It was just fucked up. I thought I was lost in some crazy Kung Fu movie or an episode of Candid Camera.

When the guy saw us he immediately ran off.

The guy who took the trash out finally calmed himself down after a couple of minutes and was able to tell us that he was spoke too by the person. Here is a snippet of the conversation:

"I know you are dating my girlfriend man and you are going to pay for taking her away from me! God sent her to me and no one, especially you is going to take her away from me!"

Right then and there I knew who it was behind the mask. It was my ex. As soon as I heard the words "God sent her to me" I fucking knew it. That was something he had told me right before I had broken it off with him.

He had given me some story of praying to God to send him someone way before he met me that he would be with until the day he died. He began to tell me that God had spoken to him on many occasions and told him to be patient and one day it would happen. Then he told me that he had seen me in visions and I was the girl God had spoken to him about.

Can you believe that shit? At age 15 I was that fucking girl??!!! Gimme a damn break here!

I knew he was insane and that is the biggest reason I quit seeing him. Hell I was 15! Seriously! Like I was ready for any kind of serious relationship here especially from someone who claimed to be talking to Jesus and God Almighty himself. No fucking Thank You...

Well the cops were called and I told them who I thought it was but based on everything that happened there was no real proof he did anything and nothing was ever done.

He never bothered me again from that point on and he never showed back up any place I was in any more costumes.

I did find out he dated a girl I knew a couple of years later and he tried to turn her into me. He made her cut her hair like mine and even change her room so it looked exactly like mine. She actually contacted me when they had broken up to tell me all about it. The story actually gave me chills.

What the hell???

I ran into him about 10 years ago in a grocery store. It was a little eerie. He proceeded to tell me how he ended up marrying the very same girl who called me to tell me she had been made into me. How odd is that? They were still married and that is when he asked me if he and I could get together sometime.

I POLITELY said no and walked away.

I have never seen him again...

And that is my story of having a stalker.

The Not-So-Great Con

I think it has been fairly well established by my recent posts that I was not the most innocent of teenager girls. Of course I am referring to my rambunctious nature and all of the evil deeds I did.

I went through a time during high school where I really didn't give a rats ass about grades or even attending school for that matter. That was pretty much my junior year.

On days when I didn't feel like going I would call the school, pretend to be my mother and take the day off. It always worked out fairly good because my parents at that point both worked during the day so they never knew.

I was always surprised that they never found out but never-the-less grateful too.

Now I mentioned that not only did I hate attending school but I didn't really do the work either.

Grades were something my parents always felt were important. In fact, it was just expected that my sisters and myself get good grades. I didn't have the type of parents who would reward for good grades and that was because they felt it was our job. They were expected to go to work and we were expected to perform in school. No if's, an's or but's.

Well the year I chose to defy the parents and not do my school work was a fun one indeed.

I skipped school frequently with my friends. We would hang out at different houses pretty much partying all day long or head to the lake and party there. It didn't really matter where we went as long as we were all together, living it up and having fun.

When it hit the end of the first quarter of school that year I started to realize that I was in fact failing several classes and that sent me into a bit of a panic.

How in the hell was I going to cover this shit up? They would know for sure I have been screwing around once the report card home.

I had no idea how I was going to dig myself out of this hole I had created for myself.

When I had this epiphany I had about 2 weeks before the report cards were expected to come out. Thank God a little breathing room!

During this 2 weeks I tried to come up with everything possible but nothing sound plausible.

I could claim I was abducted by aliens and there was body double who filled in for me and it was their fault I got shit grades.

Maybe the dog that we didn't have ate every single piece of school work I did since the beginning of that year.

Wait, I could claim all of the teachers came together in an elaborate conspiracy to make me fail all because they were terribly afraid of my brilliance. Surely that would work!

Ah Fuck...

None of that was going to work and I knew it.

That is when my very good friend Eric stepped in. I had mentioned to him my problem and he said he had the perfect solution.

Eric began to tell me of his close workings with the teachers. He was a teachers assistant for many of the same teachers we had. He helped grade papers and lots of other little tasks. But most importantly, well for the good of my plight, he had access to blank report cards.

THIS WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

I would be able to live and breath after report card day!!!

I wouldn't be dying a horribly painful death at the hands of my parents.

Hurray!!!

The next day Eric approached me with a set of report cards. I was elated!!! Not only would they be good for this quarter but they would actually be good for the entire school year!

You see the way the cards were set up was like this. You had one set for each class and each set consisted of 4 report cards, each a different color to represent each quarter. They were all carbon copied so the previous quarters grade would appear on each new one.

The day Eric gave them to me was a great day! I immediately went home and began my Great Con.

I was meticulous. I took my time. They had to be perfect!

I made sure not to give myself grades that would be unrealistic. A couple of A's. A couple of B's and a C here and there but nothing below that.

In some of the comment sections I even wrote things like "A pleasure to have in Class!" and "Looking forward to another quarter". You know, all of that crap teachers write on report cards because they cannot say how they truly feel such as "You know, she is a real pain in the ass and you should really consider kicking her ass from time to time."

It took me a few hours to really perfect the report cards because each and every single one of them had the teachers signature on them. Now you may be wondering how I pulled this part of my scheme off but it was actually quite easy. I had several items from school which had each of my teachers signatures on them already so I pretty much just copied their signature but only after practicing how they signed their name.

Finally I was done!

I sat back and surveyed the masterpieces I had. I was pleased! They turned out even better than I had hoped they would.

This was sure to work!

Report card day presented itself about a week later and I was prepared. I got up that day and went to school armed with my fake documents. As each class passed and each teacher handed out their cards, I shredded them almost immediately and shoved them into my binder.

At the end of the day, I went to the trash dumpster at the back of the school and threw out all of my shredded incriminating evidence and headed home.

When I got there I handed my mother my fake report cards and waited. She looked through them and then told me what a good job I had done and that was it.

I PULLED IT OFF!!! My MOST BRILLIANT SCAM EVER HAD WORKED!!!

No one would ever know that I actually had C's and D's! Okay there was one F but that was in Algebra II and I hate math more than anything else in the world damn it!

From this point on, the rest of my junior year was a breeze! As each quarter came and went, I went through the same ritual I did at the beginning of the year.

All was great!

I was living the high life! I was partying it up with no concern about anything at all!

Until the end of the year that is....

That is when the world came crashing down around me....

I failed to understand that the very last report card was not given to us by the teachers but they were mailed. Of course I absolutely thought I would be able to get the mail before my parents, but I was wrong. Unfortunately, my staying out late with my friends caused me to lose track of time and I over slept. My mother got the mail before I even knew what had happened!

Seeing the look on my mothers face still haunts my mind to this day. My mother lost her mind that day. My father, who is usually a fairly calm man, lost his shit too.

My days of fun were now over. I lost my phone. My television was gone. My friends were now only a memory until the beginning of the next school year because my summer vacation was no longer that.

**sigh**

And that is how the Greatest Con in the World came crashing down at my feet!

I was such a bad girl. I think I say that every time I post something like this.... Oh well! I lived and I learned. I chose the hard route....

Giggles and Fights

...my eyes are puffy...

...my brain is mushy...

Being overly exhausted is never fun! I can hear my bed screaming my name from the other room but I just can't jump in it at the moment. If I do, I will be up in the middle of the night and I can't have that.

Wait.. The pillows and blankets have joined in..... They are singing the "come to bed" song...

See, lack of sleep causes you to become insane :) The minute you hear your bedroom summoning you, you know you have issues!

At least I am giddy! Right now everything is funny!

I remember being a kid. My sisters and I (I have 2 younger sisters, Cindy and Maggie) would drive our parents crazy by getting the uncontrollable giggles. My mother would get so pissed off but there was nothing she could do to stop us. The more she yelled, begged, pleaded, threaten or whatever for us to stop, it only got worse. You would have thought after it happening so frequently should would have just given up but she never did.

Funny thing is my sister and I still do that on occasion. Only this time we torture our co-workers instead of our mother. There has been a time or two I have tortured Blu with the giggles. Makes me wonder whats going through his mind when I get like that... Hmmmm???? **pondering**

Okay done pondering...

It always seemed that we managed to get the giggles when we were all locked in the car going somewhere as a family. All mom could do was turn around and say, "Damn it Girls! Knock that shit off!"

Dad would just sit there, driving, trying to ignore us. But after a while of hearing our mother yell at us you would see dad's face turn red and then he would puff his cheeks out while clinching the steering wheel. He would grip it so hard you could almost see his knuckles turning white. Within a minute of two of that you would see him start looking at us with the death glare in the rear-view mirror. And when that didn't work, he would threaten to take us all home.

That would only work for so long because then we would giggle with our mouths locked shut and our faces cracking huge smiles. We were laughing so hard our stomachs and faces would hurt like hell. Let's face it, once the giggling started, it had to wear itself off. It just couldn't be turned off.

And God forbid we look at each other while this is going on. That would cause all sorts of chaos! The laughter would break loose and it was then we knew we were in for it.

Sadly, my father was forced to live with 4 women. He had no sons. He was cursed with daughters. **sigh** I look back now and realize we should have eased up on the poor guy!

But when you are young that is the last thing you think about. You don't realize how hard it was on the guy. I should apologize shouldn't I????

I mean he had to deal with bitchy moods, constant arguing and fighting, multiple periods (yes I am referring to that monthly visit from aunt flow), boys calling the house at all hours of the night. The sassy, know it all attitudes should have sent him to the funny farm but he survived! What a trooper!

The fights I had with my sisters were always huge. I was the oldest and pretty much kicked ass whenever I felt the need. It seemed we always fought the most when the parental units were gone and they were pretty much out of control.

There was a day when all 3 of us got into it. We were screaming at each other. Every single 4 letter word we could articulate came flying out like baseballs from a pitching machine. Then came the hitting and hair pulling. Cindy got so pissed at Maggie that while Maggie was standing there in a towel after getting out the shower, she ripped the towel from her and threw her outside the front door and locked it. Maggie stood out there screaming and banging to get in while Cindy blocked me from the door to keep me from letting Maggie in. I ended up getting ahold of Cindy and finally tossing her out of the way and got the door open for Maggie. The damage was already done. Maggie was horrified. Poor girl was crying so hard I thought she would hyperventilate. Cindy thought it was funny so then I had to beat her ass.... **sigh**

Once, I punched Cindy in the gut so hard once she went flying back into a bean bag chair. Her eyes then rolled back in her head where you could only see the whites of her eyes, lost her breath and then threw up. Then she didn't move. I kept reaching out and shaking her shoulder. I refused to touch her anywhere else because of the vomit all over the place (come on...what sister wants to touch that stuff even if she was the one who caused it???) but she still didn't move. It freaked me out so bad that I went upstairs and told my parents I thought I killed her. My mom about lost her mind on that one.

Cindy got back at me a few years later. I had just finished getting ready to go out with my friends. I had showered, done my hair and make up. Put on some really kick ass clothes. Damn I was ready to go and do some damage! Well Cindy said something I didn't like as I was getting ready to walk up the stairs so I went chasing after her. She made it to the kitchen, grabbed the Dishwashing liquid off the sink, turned around and squeezed it at me just as I made it to the top of the stairs. That shit first hit my hair. Back then the thing was to have big hair so when that stuff hit it, my hair flattened but only it one part so it looked like I had a reverse Mohawk. Then it ran down my face, ruining my make-up and getting in my eyes and coated my clothes. It took hours to get my eyes to stop stinging. Needless to say, I didn't make it out that night. For the longest time you could see where the carpet was stained from the dishwashing liquid hitting it. Nothing like seeing ugly green shaggy carpet with a huge trail of Palmolive all over it.

Damn those were the days.... I think I may just go to work tomorrow and punch Cindy for kicks.... :)

From reading this you would probably think we hate each other but in reality, we are all very very close and the best of friends :) I love my sisters...

Sharing Life With A Crazy Man I Love

To make a story long short, I love sharing my life with a crazy man! I have to say there is never a dull moment in my life anymore. Between the singing in the shower (which is hysterical) and the dancing around the living room I am filled with a constant entertainment that leaves me smiling from ear to ear.

Tonight we have had entirely too much fun! We have been drinking quite a bit of wine this evening and listening to some great music while doing it. So I decided to drag out the camera and post some pics of my insanely fun man in action.

Don't make me kick your ass! Cuz I just might do it! Move Over Rocky Balboa :)

The Free Dance of Insanity Spills Forth Into Our Living Room

Don't point that camera at me woman!

This is his rendition of Blu Steel from Zoolander. Can't wait to see LaTigra next :)

Party At The Parents House

drunk·en - druhng-kuhn] intoxicated, drunk, given to drunkenness. Pertaining to, caused by, or marked by intoxication.

par·ty - /ˈpɑrti/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[pahr-tee] A social gathering, as of invited guests at a private home, for conversation, refreshments, entertainment, etc.

I was always one who was really bad at having parties at my parents house when they weren't home for the weekend. I only did it then because I knew they were a few hundred miles away at our lake house so there was never the danger of them just casually walking in on anything plus it gave me plenty of time to clean up after all was said and done.

I had way too many of those. Actually it was pretty much a few times a month during my high school years while we were out on summer vacation.

It was always me and my best friend Jamie along with numerous others. The crowd was never the same either. Always someone new.

If I could only count the number of crazy things that happened. A ceiling fan being yanked from the ceiling in my parents room (that was me doing that....I went to turn it on and pulled the cord too hard and the bastard fell from the ceiling right onto my parents bed....They never said a word), trash bags full of empty alcohol bottles that no one ever seemed to notice, cops coming to the house on a couple of occasions because of too many cars parked on the street and the noise from everyone, watered down bottles of really old scotch of my dad's that we raided.

I could go on and on but why??? You pretty much get the idea right?

Now there was this one time where we actually had a party with my parents right there in the house. I sit back and think about it now and cannot believe I really managed to pull it off.

I was 16 and it was a Saturday night. I had told my parents that Jamie was going to come over along with a few other people. They were always really cool with my friends coming over and hanging out. They figured if I was there how much could I actually do wrong??? Wow.. Talk about being completely mistaken....

As some of you may remember from my previous posts, I had the coolest bedroom in the world with its own outside access. Well its really easy to sneak in the booze when you have a door right next to your bed so that's exactly what we did.

In came the wine coolers and cases of beer.

We sat there in my room drinking for a couple of hours then for whatever reason, we fanned out into the rest of the house. My parents had already gone to sleep and seemed completely oblivious as to what was really going on and considering we were all fairly intoxicated we paid no mind to the fact they were even in the house to begin with.

So upstairs we went. I remember through my alcohol induced haze we were very very loud but I didn't anyone to quiet down at all. Some of the guys hit the fridge for food while others ended up outside on the deck to smoke and drink some more.

By the end of the night everyone was totally trashed. Jamie was vomiting off the side of the deck. Her boyfriend fell down the stairs and busted his forehead. A friend of ours ended up peeing his pants. Hell I damn near did too from laughing so hard. Guys and girls were making out all over the place. Just your run of the mill chaotic teenage party fun.

Here is the kicker....

Around midnight we decided it was time to call it quits. Jamie and her boyfriend needed a ride back to her house and I knew I couldn't drive. So what did I do? I went and woke up my mother and asked to take them home.

Mom gets up and gets dressed. She never says a word when every piles into the back of her mini-van and takes everyone home.

I am still amazed. How did she not know???

Now before you all go thinking I was this absolutely horrid girl, I did fess up. But only after my father went into my room and found a trash bag full of empty bottles. That was a nice day... Notice the sarcasm??? I got ripped apart but I ended up admitting to everything. I felt it was the right thing to do.

The question is this... Did it ever stop me from having another party??? Nope.. It sure didn't. But over the years since I moved out I have confessed to many a things I have done. My mother cringes and always says she doesn't want to hear it. My father shakes his head, his face filled with a mixture of jealously and disgust.

Not only did I admit to everything but I also replaced all of the watered down alcohol of my fathers. See.. I tried to make amends! I'm really not that bad of a girl :)

Now that I am grown with a 13 year old son I know I have to be on my guard and pay attention at all times! I know they say everything you have done will come back 10 fold through your children so does that mean I am in for it or what???

Dueling Computers

Okay since Blu has blessed my life with his magnificent presence things have been more than incredible.

Right now the two of us are sitting in the living room, each at our own computers. It's kinda funny. He is filling my head with all of the music he has crammed onto his machine and I love it :)

I wish you could see him in his Stewie's Sexy Party lounge pants. **snicker**

I am having so much fun right now. Here it is Midnight and I have to get up in 6 hours and I can't even begin to fathom the idea of sleep right now. I'm afraid if I do I will miss something and I don't wanna miss a thing or a moment or anything else for that matter...

So.......Until I post some crazy ass story tomorrow night I shall say this... Night Everyone!

Writing?

For whatever reason I am not in a writing mood lately. Doesn't really matter if I have a zillion things in my head I could write about whenever I sit down and think of doing it, I go blank. I think it's mainly the excitement of Blu being here is still at DefCon 5. It use to be I would get home from work and get online and do somethings but now I come home and want to spend time with him. Funny how that stuff works huh? Then again, how could I not want to spend time with someone I love so much and who is the best friend I have ever had???

I promise to come up with something witty this weekend for everyone. I have a few lil' stories from my rambunctious teen years brewing within the crevices of my mind I will enlighten you with... Oh Lord.. I have way too many of those :)

Take care everyone!