The Not-So-Great Con

I think it has been fairly well established by my recent posts that I was not the most innocent of teenager girls. Of course I am referring to my rambunctious nature and all of the evil deeds I did.

I went through a time during high school where I really didn't give a rats ass about grades or even attending school for that matter. That was pretty much my junior year.

On days when I didn't feel like going I would call the school, pretend to be my mother and take the day off. It always worked out fairly good because my parents at that point both worked during the day so they never knew.

I was always surprised that they never found out but never-the-less grateful too.

Now I mentioned that not only did I hate attending school but I didn't really do the work either.

Grades were something my parents always felt were important. In fact, it was just expected that my sisters and myself get good grades. I didn't have the type of parents who would reward for good grades and that was because they felt it was our job. They were expected to go to work and we were expected to perform in school. No if's, an's or but's.

Well the year I chose to defy the parents and not do my school work was a fun one indeed.

I skipped school frequently with my friends. We would hang out at different houses pretty much partying all day long or head to the lake and party there. It didn't really matter where we went as long as we were all together, living it up and having fun.

When it hit the end of the first quarter of school that year I started to realize that I was in fact failing several classes and that sent me into a bit of a panic.

How in the hell was I going to cover this shit up? They would know for sure I have been screwing around once the report card home.

I had no idea how I was going to dig myself out of this hole I had created for myself.

When I had this epiphany I had about 2 weeks before the report cards were expected to come out. Thank God a little breathing room!

During this 2 weeks I tried to come up with everything possible but nothing sound plausible.

I could claim I was abducted by aliens and there was body double who filled in for me and it was their fault I got shit grades.

Maybe the dog that we didn't have ate every single piece of school work I did since the beginning of that year.

Wait, I could claim all of the teachers came together in an elaborate conspiracy to make me fail all because they were terribly afraid of my brilliance. Surely that would work!

Ah Fuck...

None of that was going to work and I knew it.

That is when my very good friend Eric stepped in. I had mentioned to him my problem and he said he had the perfect solution.

Eric began to tell me of his close workings with the teachers. He was a teachers assistant for many of the same teachers we had. He helped grade papers and lots of other little tasks. But most importantly, well for the good of my plight, he had access to blank report cards.

THIS WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

I would be able to live and breath after report card day!!!

I wouldn't be dying a horribly painful death at the hands of my parents.

Hurray!!!

The next day Eric approached me with a set of report cards. I was elated!!! Not only would they be good for this quarter but they would actually be good for the entire school year!

You see the way the cards were set up was like this. You had one set for each class and each set consisted of 4 report cards, each a different color to represent each quarter. They were all carbon copied so the previous quarters grade would appear on each new one.

The day Eric gave them to me was a great day! I immediately went home and began my Great Con.

I was meticulous. I took my time. They had to be perfect!

I made sure not to give myself grades that would be unrealistic. A couple of A's. A couple of B's and a C here and there but nothing below that.

In some of the comment sections I even wrote things like "A pleasure to have in Class!" and "Looking forward to another quarter". You know, all of that crap teachers write on report cards because they cannot say how they truly feel such as "You know, she is a real pain in the ass and you should really consider kicking her ass from time to time."

It took me a few hours to really perfect the report cards because each and every single one of them had the teachers signature on them. Now you may be wondering how I pulled this part of my scheme off but it was actually quite easy. I had several items from school which had each of my teachers signatures on them already so I pretty much just copied their signature but only after practicing how they signed their name.

Finally I was done!

I sat back and surveyed the masterpieces I had. I was pleased! They turned out even better than I had hoped they would.

This was sure to work!

Report card day presented itself about a week later and I was prepared. I got up that day and went to school armed with my fake documents. As each class passed and each teacher handed out their cards, I shredded them almost immediately and shoved them into my binder.

At the end of the day, I went to the trash dumpster at the back of the school and threw out all of my shredded incriminating evidence and headed home.

When I got there I handed my mother my fake report cards and waited. She looked through them and then told me what a good job I had done and that was it.

I PULLED IT OFF!!! My MOST BRILLIANT SCAM EVER HAD WORKED!!!

No one would ever know that I actually had C's and D's! Okay there was one F but that was in Algebra II and I hate math more than anything else in the world damn it!

From this point on, the rest of my junior year was a breeze! As each quarter came and went, I went through the same ritual I did at the beginning of the year.

All was great!

I was living the high life! I was partying it up with no concern about anything at all!

Until the end of the year that is....

That is when the world came crashing down around me....

I failed to understand that the very last report card was not given to us by the teachers but they were mailed. Of course I absolutely thought I would be able to get the mail before my parents, but I was wrong. Unfortunately, my staying out late with my friends caused me to lose track of time and I over slept. My mother got the mail before I even knew what had happened!

Seeing the look on my mothers face still haunts my mind to this day. My mother lost her mind that day. My father, who is usually a fairly calm man, lost his shit too.

My days of fun were now over. I lost my phone. My television was gone. My friends were now only a memory until the beginning of the next school year because my summer vacation was no longer that.

**sigh**

And that is how the Greatest Con in the World came crashing down at my feet!

I was such a bad girl. I think I say that every time I post something like this.... Oh well! I lived and I learned. I chose the hard route....