I woke up this morning and was tired as hell. I kept waking up in the middle of the night from crazy dreams so I didn't sleep all that much but you know what? I am in a damn good mood today :) It's gonna be a good day... And whoever tries to change that is not going to succeed....
Have a good one everyone!!
I was playing with my camera while getting ready for work and snapped this pic... Do I look happy?
I cannot lie...
Last week was the hardest time I have had in my recent life. I went through entirely too many emotions and had an over abundance of crazy thoughts racing in this off the wall mind of mine.
But that's all over...
Michael is home...
Now life can get back to what its supposed to be. A week in the hospital on top of a few other things that happened really took a toll on the both of us so now that its all over, he and I can get back to what we do best and that is just being with each other.
I love this man...
I love this man more than I ever thought was humanly possible... I know I have said this before but its amazing how much you really realize something when staring in the face of adversity. When you think there is even the slightest possibility everything will not turn on positively it really makes you re-evaluate a lot in your life.
He always says you have to keep on keepin' on (okay he stole it from Joe Dirt...but whatever) and he is right. Focusing on everything negative does no good. All it does is make you insane, brings you down and makes life, along with everything in it, more difficult.
So I have now made it my mission to do everything I can to remain focused and positive. There was a time when I wouldn't have been able to do it but now that I have someone in my life who sees the beauty in everything its going be that much easier...
I am so thankful...
I am counting my lucky stars....
Michael sent me this and I love it... Check it out... It speaks volumes...
Well another day is gone and another day he is still in the hospital. As it turns out he has a pretty bad staph infection so they are pumping him up on all sorts of stuff to try and get rid of it all.
For those of you unfamiliar with diabetes, when someone with this disease gets an infection, it takes them 5 times as long for there body to rid itself of it and that usually requires help such as medication.
Michael is still in a lot of pain but he is going to be fine. I know he is sick and tired of being stuck in the hospital and that I understand. It's uncomfortable. You have no privacy and it tends to be loud. Every time he tries to sleep in walks someone to poke and prod at him. It sucks and its no fun.
The pain killers they are giving him only work so much and that bothers me because I can just see how badly he hurts. If I could take it all away, I would do it without a second thought...
I have stayed with him as late as I can each night to keep him company as he is incredibly bored. I look in his eyes and I just see and feel the frustration and it breaks my heart.
He has only been here a month and is in the hospital. How is that for a Welcome To Kansas City for you???
He is looking forward to coming home soon... Hopefully this weekend but it just depends on how well his body responds to the medication. I am missing him around here like crazy. Now that he is here with me every second he is gone just eats at me.
Now I am off to bed. I am exhausted :)
Take care everyone and have a good night!
Reality..
This is one of those words which is kind of like a double edged sword. Sometimes reality is good and sometimes it's bad. The only problem is you just never know which one is going to hit you at any given moment.
Today my reality is blurred.
Today my reality is not good.
Today my reality sucks.
Last night Michael and I were having a great time together. We sat and watched some TV and just enjoyed each others company. I love spending time with him. He always makes things fun and exciting. He has a unique perspective on life and everything in the world around him and that is one of the main reasons I fell head over heels in love with the man.
Around 9:30 last night Michael told me he was feeling nauseated and he felt like he could get sick. It concerned me a little bit because he hasn't been feeling very good since his move up here last month. Unfortunately, with him having diabetes I think the stress of the move and the change in climate has really done a number on my baby. We both feel as time passes it will get better.
However, a few minutes later he ended up getting sick. Now this is when I began to get a little more worried. I know how much he hates to get sick and I also know that does not happen very often.
And then he got sick again...
And again...
And again...
About an hour and a half later, after trying to do everything possible to stabilize him he begged me to call an ambulance. I did. At 11:15 last night the EMT's were in my home and basically telling him there was nothing they could do other than take him to the hospital.
Since the hospital is literally 3 blocks from my house, the EMT's helped get him into my car and off to the hospital we went.
Last night was scary for me. I know it was nothing compared to what Michael's body is going through but it was still scary. There was nothing I could do for him except try everything I possibly could to make him feel comfortable. The amount of pain he was in was unbearable. He was sweating so much from his body temperature fluctuating so much that his clothes looked as though he had gone swimming in them. The uncontrollable vomiting was so violent. After doing it so much everything that came up was nothing but blood.
I was lost. I couldn't help the one person in the world I love above everyone else. I had to sit there and watch. It hurt. It hurt so fucking bad.
I think God is tired of hearing from me. I think he is tired of me begging to make him better. But guess what God? I am not going to stop.... I can't.... I need him well... He needs to be well....
I seriously do not know how much more his body can take. He has been through so much in his life and knowing this makes me worry all the more. Michael is strong. Oh my God he is unbelievably strong but his body???
Pretty much all I can say is they have decided to keep him. They have not told me what is going on with him as they really do not know themselves. I have been told there will be lots of testing he will be going through. When I know more I will post it here.
Please cross your fingers...say a prayer... whatever you can... He would never in a million years admit it, but he needs it....
I was reading BarDouble29's post about dating and it got my brain going.
Dating is horrible.
Dating sucks..
It's like one long never ending job interview.
Frankly, I would rather have my foot caught in a bear trap and then try and free myself by gnawing off my limb rather than ever start over in the dating scene.
Sometimes you get lucky and the person you are on the date with is fun and interesting but then you get the crazy weirdo's. There is no happy medium in the dating world. It's either good or bad. It's never not bad...
Well her post got me thinking back to one creepy weirdo I got set up on a blind date with. At the time I was working at a rather large bank. I had been there several years and I worked in a small unit which had given me the opportunity to get to know my co-workers pretty closely. In fact, some of them were very good friends of mine.
A couple of these friends had decided they wanted to set me up on a blind date because it had been awhile since I had gone out with anyone. Frankly, I wasn't really interested in dating anyone. My son was very young and I just didn't have the desire or motivation but I agreed anyway.
I was told this man was very hot and gainfully employed as a chef! Now tell me that doesn't sound good to a single mother? I mean seriously, being a single mother you are not just looking to go and date. Anyone you meet you scrutinize as a potential life long partner. It cannot be helped. It's that maternal instinct taking over.
Anyway besides being very hot and employed he was supposed to be very funny and was looking for a long term relationship.
Fuckin' Kick Ass.... Let's Do IT!!!
So the date was set up for a week and a half later. One of my friends even agreed to take my son so I wouldn't have to find a babysitter. It was going to be fantastic.
I went out that day and got my hair done and bought some new clothes just for the occasion. Damn I couldn't wait for 6 o'clock to roll around.
About 5 minutes before 6 he got there. I love it.. Early! Everyone loves someone who is punctual right? Especially on a first date right?
I opened up the door to my apartment and he was not bad looking at all. He was tall. I would say 6'1 with blond hair and blue eyes. He also had a mustache and anyone who knows me knows I have a big thing about facial hair. I love it.. It's incredibly sexy..
So far so good...
We talked for a couple of minutes then headed out the door.
I step outside to see waiting in the parking lot a brand new Red Firebird. It was absolutely beautiful.
Am I dreaming? Is this guy for real? So far he seems too good to be true...
On the way to the restaurant we talked about all sorts of things. The conversation wasn't completely forced. It wasn't totally comfortable but not horrible either. I mean we had never met nor talked before so I guess that was to be expected somewhat.
One of the things he mentioned was the fact he hated rude people. He always felt everyone should be considerate of others. He hated swearing too. He told me there is never a good enough reason for anyone to swear when there are so many other words in the world people could use that would get the point across just the same.
I was a little blown away by that. Hell I swear like a sailor so in my scrutinizing this man I knew I would have to re-evaluate somethings about myself if we decided to see each other after this date.
We get to the restaurant and sit down. He asks if I have a problem with a man ordering for me. I said no. This would be interesting. Let's see what he does. Hell he is a chef so he should be good at this.
He ordered me a steak, lobster and shrimp.
Incredible... He isn't cheap either... I am in heaven!
He ended up ordering the exact same thing.
We carried on with more small talk until the food came. We just basically talked about my life and his. It gave us a little more insight into each other. We laughed. I was having a great time.
Then the food came.
As we started to eat we didn't really talk that much. I noticed he was really into his food and I mean really into it. At first I just thought okay, this guy is a chef and he really appreciates good quality food so I will just go with it.
Another minute passed and I notice this guy is sweating. Just a little bead of sweat that trickled down from his hairline across his cheek.
Then it became a little bit more. He was glistening. It seemed odd to me. I couldn't quit sneaking glances at him because every single time I looked, he was sweatier.
All of a sudden, I started hearing little moaning sounds. At first I was a little taken back because I thought it was him but I couldn't be sure. Then they got a little louder. And when I saw his eyes pretty much rolling into the back of his head I started to wonder.
Here is this fairly attractive guy sitting across from me sweating like he is running a marathon and moaning while eating his food. He is enjoying himself but a little too much. I swear it was like he was about to have an orgasm. I have seen people sweat while they eat and I don't have a problem with that but when it's so much that his shirt is starting to become wet it gave me the creeps. I actually sat there for a moment and tried to envision what sex with this guy would be like. The only conclusion I could come up with is that while he would be sweating and enjoying himself way to much I would drown.
That's not good. Who wants to die during sex..???
So there was no conversation during dinner unless you call moaning great company and he sweats so much he looks like he has been swimming, I was seriously starting to consider whether or not I even wanted a second date.
But....
We left and went to see a movie. Everything went back to the way it was. We talked and laughed again. It wasn't half bad.
After the movie we headed for the car. When we came up on it you could see there was a piece of paper on the hood. What happened now floored the hell out of me...
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT ON MY CAR? DON'T PEOPLE HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLES GOD DAMN PROPERTY ANYMORE? THIS REALLY FUCKING PISSES ME OFF!"
With that he pulled the paper off, waded it up and threw it at the car parked next to him. He was red and I mean so red he was almost glowing.
Now wait... didn't this guy say earlier that he didn't think there was a reason for anyone to swear ever? What the fuck happened to that guy?
And why get so pissed off about a piece of paper on your car? Good LORD!
So between the sweaty nastiness, the love affair he was having with his plate and the uncontrollable swearing about his car, I knew right then and there I would not be seeing this guy again....
I love insane people. They make the world more colorful and interesting don't they?
Today it started snowing! I love the snow! It creates a peaceful and serene feeling yet makes you want to roll around in it and go sledding. Here are some pictures from us driving around in it all today :)
I really enjoy the snow a great deal but today was better because I got to watch Michael revel in it. Tomorrow we are going sledding and I cannot wait. I should have some interesting pictures for you too...
Caleb armed with an Air-Soft rifle on his way to the car...
Michael enjoying the snow :)I would first like to point out that I am truly not a bitch (no matter what NV says). I am actually a pretty likable person who gets along with anyone. But does it make me a bad person for wanting to kick an old man down a flight of stairs?
Seriously...
Does this make me rotten, evil and horribly mean?
I work with a man who is 73 years old. He actually retired several years ago and has chosen to stay on and work which I always found to be very admirable.
For the longest time I thought he was an incredibly hard worker not to mention an extremely nice man.
Well, those of you who follow my blog know the company I work for closed down all of their stores back in October. What that meant for me and this old man was we were going to be working at the corporate office and manufacturing facility from that point on.
Unfortunately, the other employees were let go. He and I were the only 2 they bought back to the main facility. Good for us but bad for them.
Anyway, when we first made the transition it was very smooth. I still had it in my mind that this man was just a really cool old guy. Yes he is set in his ways but who in the fuck isn't right? He has some very old fashioned ways about him that I really liked. I was able to carry on a great conversation with him and that is very important to me.
I always loved his work ethic. His customers really seemed to love him and he bent over backwards to make sure they got what they needed when they needed it. Not to mention he is VERY knowledgeable in the world of paint. Whenever I had a question, he was the one I went to more than anyone else because of his length of time in the business. Basically, I looked up to him.
However, a few months have passed since this transition and I have had the chance to really watch this man work in ways I have never seen before.
I have found out he doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about.
He is a mean, grumpy and miserable old man. He yells at people and refuses to listen to anyone around him who is merely being helpful. I can understand that he may not want people to get the impression he is too old to figure shit out but there has to be a fine line somewhere.
He can't match paint to save his life and he mistints the hell out of everything. Very bad for business. You cannot have customers walking out the door thinking they are getting what they ordered when in fact they did not. They received the exact opposite.
He thinks he can do as he pleases whenever he pleases. This old geezer does nothing all day long. He walks around the warehouse with a cup of coffee in his hands and harasses the guys who are working their asses off.... including myself whenever I happen to be down there.
He refuses to follow rules. Okay, I am a rule breaker. I think my previous posts have established that however, there are certain things you just cannot do and he does them anyway. When you work around hazardous materials you have no choice but to be careful or you could kill yourself or someone else. So there are rules you MUST follow.
Well in the last few weeks I have gotten to see the real dark side of this miserable old miser. I swear to God he pisses vinegar. I now view him as the type of man who would intentionally scare little kids to death for his own personal enjoyment. I even made a comment the other day when he seemed to be in a good mood that he must have run over a child on the way to work because he was so damn chipper.
But I have had my fill of this man calling me up and cursing at me because he doesn't like the way things are going. Or following me around the office and or warehouse bitching about how bad he has it. I am tired of this old fuck getting up in my face and trying to assert his "I am man so hear me roar lowly woman" attitude.
Its part of my job to question why he does things that are incorrect and when I ask I get lectured on how I don't know what the hell I am doing.
Yep, he has stroked my fur the wrong way so-to-speak.
And he is about to get kicked down a flight of stairs.
Damn I would much rather be posting something interesting right now instead of venting about some old man but he really pushed it with me today. I can be tolerant to an extent but push me too far and you are going to seriously get burned.
Earlier today he had the nerve to ask me exactly what I did around there. After looking at him like he had strange creatures crawling from his ears I filled him in. About half way through my rant he threw his hand up in my face and went "mwaaaaa". Whatever the hell that is.. I just walked away at that point.
Unfortunately, there are two people around that company who are work horses and that is me and my sister. Our workload is tremendous not to mention stressful. However, as much as we do we are grateful that our jobs are versatile and keep us busier than flies on shit.
Well...
About 20 minutes before he was scheduled to leave I had to call him and ask him if had done something he was supposed to do. Apparently, that was a bad question because his last words to me today were, "Nope! I'm closing up shop and leaving. If you want it done then you do it yourself!" and then the phone slammed down.
Hmmmmm??? **scratching my head really hard and cocking my head sideways with a perplexed look on my face**
What to do?
Well I did do it myself and I will take care of him and his old balls on Monday. Thoughts of driving a forklift up his ass are running through my mind along with several other things but that flight of stairs is still haunting me.....
Okay, you know I won't do it but it feels good to vent and visualize. If that man isn't careful, my sister is gonna do it. He has pissed her off too and she is so much meaner than me....
I love my sister...
