The Christmas Gift I Will Never Forget...

Now who in their right mind doesn't like getting Christmas presents? I pretty much think its a given. Yeah I know we are supposed to like giving more than receiving but I think alot of us would pretty much be liars if we didn't admit how much we love getting them.

Everyone usually gets their fair share of crap gifts too. I have gotten many. Everything from the ugly sweater to stupid ass trinkets I have no use for. Thankfully, I have never been subjected to the miserable fruitcake you always hear people talking about but that's neither here nor there in this lil' post.

One year, my best friend NV and I had decided to get together with a group of people we work with at her father's restaurant as kind of a Pre-Christmas dinner.

It was going to be great! Just us and about 8 (if I recall) of our close friends from work. I wish I could tell you the menu we had planned but I really cannot and that is because everything else became lost in the shadows once I opened up the gift that NV got for me.

So here we all are, sitting at a huge round table in the Tavern area of the restaurant. Nothing but good food and even better conversation. What could be better right?

Well then it was time for some gift giving. Everyone was exchanging presents and opening them. It was fun to see what everyone got for each other and they all seemed happy with everything they received.

Then it became my turn. I should have known Mrs. NV was up to no good because she made sure that all eyes were laid upon me during my opening of this spectacular gift!

Damn I was I excited! NV was always good at picking out stuff so I could only imagine what she had gotten me! She knew all of the things I loved so I knew this was going to be awesome!!!

I slowly begin opening up my gift and what do my eyes see????

A HUGE RUBBER DILDO!!!

Yeah you heard me right! A great big fucking 1o" rubber penis! It was flesh colored and even had little veins so it looked realistic. All it was missing was a man attached to it.

Panic shot threw me first because here I was opening this gift in front of all of these people we work with. Horrified I was!!! Holy Shit!!! I cannot believe she did this too me!!! Wait, yes I can! NV is evil! She never had a halo only the devil horns!!! That night I was sittin' next to the devil herself and her name was NV....

So after the horrifying look disappeared from my face, I could do nothing but turn a good 6 million shades of red. Then the laughing ensued from everyone at the table. Damn I was never going to hear the end of this one. Nope... NEVER!!!

Damn it NV!!! What the fuck are you trying to say here!??? Of course I knew what she was trying to imply because I was dating no one at the time and was living alone. She felt I needed a "boyfriend" of some sort. She is so incredibly thoughtful isn't she? My only complaint is that it wasn't one that needed batteries. It was going to be left up to me to do all of the "dirty work". Hell it could have even been one that plugged in! You know one of those intimidating bastards that are screaming "You better hold on when using me baby because you are going on one wild ass scream fest!"

**giggles**

NV I love you!!! You know I still outta kick your ass for that one! Nothing like taking out a huge dildo and setting it down in the middle of a huge round table for everyone to see. Gee Thanks NV!!!

So after I left I decided to swing by my parents house and show them my gift. Basically, my family roared with laughter. They always loved NV and her sense of humor....

Occasionally, to this day, I still get asked about this nice Christmas gift. Actually, its more like a "hey remember when NV got you that dildo.......???"

See what best friends are for???